Wedding Resources

Wedding ceremony or simple elope honeymoon?

I have never been the one to plan my wedding like all of my other friends have done. I know it will stress me out--the details and the cost! I want to elope and spend money on a romantic honeymoon getaway--focusing on us, not the ceremony. He wants a huge ceremony / reception and all of his 12,000 relatives. How can we compromise! I DO NOT WANT TO WORRY ABOUT A WEDDING!!! It's about love I say! We can't afford it, either! Peer pressure!

Public Comments

1. How about a compromise, maybe you could get married away but come back and hold a small reception for the family to celebrate?
2. Do a small simple wedding and invite only the immediate family.
3. you do get alot of money back in gifts
4. Just go and elope and have your honeymoon. When you come back just have a small reception with just a few friends and relatives.
5. Weddings are for the parents. If they want to do all the planning and pay the expense let them. If you want control elope and have a small party.
6. So let me get this straight HE wants to have a huge ceremony?? that seems rather odd that a MAN would be all about having a big wedding...that's typically a woman's want. Ask yourself if its something HE wants or if he is wanting it to please someone else.....I'm thinking mommy possibly?? My advice is to point out the obvious....."you can't afford a BIG wedding" and as much he'd like to have one it just isn't possible....Ask him if his idea of being a good husband is throwing you into debt when there is no need for it.......
7. It's really up to YOU and your FIANCE. No one else. It's no one else's business--no matter what anyone else thinks. And, whatever anyone else thinks is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Knowing that should relieve a lot of the pressure. Look, if you cannot comfortably afford it (by that I mean if the cost of the wedding/reception will take more than 50% of your short-term savings), don't go into debt trying to live up to other persons' expectations. They are not living your life--YOU are living your life. My wife and I got married in San Francisco's City Hall--an elegant, turn-of-the-20th-century building with a beautiful rotunda. We invited my relatives and our firends (her relatives are all out of the country)--20 - 25 people, had a great dinner at a local restaruant, and spent about $600 for the entire affair--not counting dress/tux, hair, etc. Everyone had a great time, and we had plenty of money for a great honeymoon in China--and Hawaii the following year. I wanted a large, lavish affair, but couldn't afford it. A large lavish affair did not mesh with our long-term goals of investing and retiring when we want. Make sure that you and your fiance are on the same page when it comes to your long-term financial goals, are working toward those goals together, and that you enjoy life. Otherwise, why are you two together?
8. Well, if you are mature enough to get married, you surely shouldn't be buckling under peer pressure; hopefully you aren't 14! This is about a decision you and your guy have to make together. Sounds like you just want it to be about you, whereas he wants to celebrate with family and friends, after they witness the ceremony. I agree with your guy! You and he would just scale the wedding as to what the two of you could afford.
9. well then if you feel you would like to go away and elope then do it, no fuss just you guys, i think its lovely. then come back and hold a party for your family, that way everyon eis happy. and you still get wedding gifts lol
10. Marriage is compromise - get used to it! Since he does want a wedding, I think the best compromise is to chooes an "all -in-one" vendor where you can have your ceremony & reception, and their wedding coordinators will help you. They'll have a list of vendors for any services that they don't provide, but many do almost all of it, and all you have to handle is your attire and invitations. Often they have a package or "per person" price for things as well. Check what's available in your area - especially B&B's and wedding chapels. And perhaps his large family can help with the cost as well.