Wedding Resources - Is it rude to only invite certain people to your wedding ceremony and others to the reception?

Is it rude to only invite certain people to your wedding ceremony and others to the reception?

I just responded to a post that I thought was totally APPROPRIATE. However a lady on the post (Royallady1947) said that it would be rude to have a wedding and not invite everyone to it. The "asker" wanted to know how to word invitations because she was having a small, intimate ceremony for her wedding and then inviting everyone else to the reception. Her family consisted of over 150 people and she wanted to keep the cermony intimate with just close friends and family, but invite everyone else to the reception. I was thinking of doing this same type of thing, so I was just curious on other peoples thoughts. I think the wedding ceremony is about the bride and groom and the reception is about celebrating, if the bride and groom only want certain people to watch them take their vows, i think it is totally appropriate.... The question is called "How to word a wedding invitation when guests are only invited to reception?" and the asker name is hannahmarissa2 if u want to search it

Public Comments

no...resepions are expensive...it is your wedding you do what you want to do!
it's not rude at all. i've only gone to receptions merely b/c some people prefer to have a smaller wedding or only family and close friends. it's perfectly normal. that's probably what i'll do.
not really cuz if you are the one paying for it..then its your call! just be prepared to get the cold shoulder now and again..
wow, thats harsh...i think that ppl would not want to go to the reception if they weren't invited to the ceremony...
No- It's your wedding do what YOU want.
I would invite the same people to both. The ceremony is the important part of a wedding, and the party is to conmemorate that ceremony. Still many people do what you want to do. I preferred everybody in both.
i think it is totally appropiate. it is there choice. but for those who aren't invited, i would say have someone record the ceremony, then show it during the reception.
Bottom line is, it is YOUR wedding. YOUR perfect day, you do it any way you want, and anyone who thinks you are being rude is not a very good friend to you.
it is your day worry about you not them invite who you want they should understand.
I was listening to this topic the other day in the Radio. here what i think since this is your wedding i think you should only invite people that you like. becuz this is once in a life time thing you should make the decision.
no...you are the one paying for the day, it should be as you want it, not what others want
There are a lot of people who only go to the reception and it's ok if that's the way you want it.
If you want a small wedding ceremony or you church can only accomodate a limited number of people, it's totally appropriate to invite the bulk of your guests to the reception only. A "reception" is when you first formally "receive" guests as a married couple and is the way you celebrate with the people you want to share your day with.
Your wedding is for YOU. Oh, and I guess for your husband. I think the only one who can tell you whether or not something is rude is the person to whom it's been done. So the real question becomes is it justified? I say yes. Honestly, I think a lot of people would prefer to skip the ceremony, and just get to the party!
yes is it rude because people usually give money as a wedding gift so by only inviting certain people to the church your basically saying, "i don't want you there to see me get married but sure i will take your money". if someone invited me only to the reception and not to see you get married, i wouldn't go.
I do understand your thoughts and reasons behind what you want, but if you have a situation where only certain people show up to the ceremony and others are waiting at the reception, it's just a sticky thing! The best way to address your concern (in my opinion) would be to have the private ceremony and maybe a small, simple dinner somewhere and have your big reception at a completely different time and place. If you separate your guest lists, you should separate the events.
feck them, its you're day. do what makes you happy.
Not rude at all! At my wedding we did parents and grandparents only at the ceremony then everyone to the reception. Once i explained to people that we wanted an intimate ceremony I had no complaints at all.
No I don't think thats inappropriate at all. Its happened to me. And you know what? Its not anyone else's f*cking wedding its yours. Do as you like. I personally am going to have only a handful of closest friends and a handful of immediate family fly to Hawaii to do mine. People know that weddings cost money. Each person you invite is more people to have there. And its personal preference if you want a big wedding or not. People who are real friends/family would just be honored to have you invite them to be a part of your special day, even if thats the reception only. Besides they should be happy to be only invited to the reception, thats where the food/drinks/fun start anyway ;D
I am getting married in August. I dont think that it is rude not to invite everyone to the wedding. We had planned to only have 100 guests at our reception but we invited more to the wedding. We invited to the reception that guest that were family members or those closest to us. Why PAY for some one who may want to come to the wedding but arent really all that interested in seeing you get married. We invited those guest who our wedding would truly have sentimental meaning. It is your day!! Dont worry about anyone or anything else, but about making this day memorable for you and your spouse to be!
i dont think its rude at all. The way to word it would be to not tell the people who are only invited to the reception about the wedding details...say something like, "Sarah and Tom will be getting married on June 6th, 2006, and we would love to share this exciting event with you! We will be having a private ceremony, but please attend our reception at.........." most people wouldnt mind!
I don't think it's rude. You can write on the invitation that they are inited to the wedding reception and that the wedding ceremony will be celebrated with the family.
I would have to say that the most tactful way to do this would be to send out two different types of invitations. One that is formal and invites people (family and close friends) to the ceremony/reception and one that is more informal inviting others to just the reception. Word will spread that the ceremony is intimate and hopefully no one will take it personally.
Yes, it is perfectly proper to have a small wedding followed by a large reception. But bear in mind that a church wedding is PUBLIC ceremony, and like any other church service, is open to virtually anyone who wishes to attend. If you want your wedding open only to a select few, have a PRIVATE ceremony, perhaps in your home or a private chapel. When you send out invitations to the reception, you enclose a clever little gizmo called a ceremony card for those you want at the wedding as well. (Did you know that it is "even more proper" to send handwritten invites and cards than to go to the expense of engraving? But you didn't ask that, did you?) The wording and format are something like this for the reception: Mr. and Mrs. Bridal Parents request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception of Blushing Bride and Nervous Groom on Saturday the fifth of June at three o'clock Snootville Moose Lodge 1246 Stripmall Avenue, Snootville RSVP Emily Parents (212) 555 1212 and this for the ceremony card: The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage ceremony at one o'clock Snootville First Contrarian Church 17133 Landfill Road, Snootville Notice that invitations to homes and private halls call for "the pleasure of your company", while the functions held in churches and chapels call for "the honor of your presence"? I wish you many years of future happiness.
It is perfectly proper to invite people to the reception who were not asked to the ceremony. This has NEVER been considered rude. You must, however, invite everyone to the reception who was invited to the wedding ceremony. The best way to do this is to make the main invitation be to the reception and enclose ceremony cards in the invitations addressed to those you want at the ceremony.
its your wedding and you shouldn't care what everybody else thinks or does. do what you want and enjoy your special day.
I must have read over a hundred bridal magazines while I planned my wedding (Oct 2005) and this question was asked of several of the advice people. It is NOT rude to have a very small ceremony and then throw a larger reception.
Yes I think it's inconsiderate to invite people to a wedding and not allow them to attend the reception. If you can't afford a big reception then one shouldn't invite so many people to the wedding. People (especially older people) just expect to go to the reception hall (or building) right after the wedding.
Its your wedding you can do whatever you choose to do. Just put on the invites that the wedding id for family and close friends only but they are more than welcome to attend the reception. Hope that worked. Good Luck
First of all, just to respond to some referring to this as "rude" because of gift reasons...the reception is the huge expense for the event. In most situations, you are providing your guests with an open bar, apps, food, cake, entertainment, did I mention the open bar???! The reception is a party, a celebration plain and simple. The ceremony and reception do not have to go hand and hand. I almost feel like the ceremony should be reserved for family and close friends only. We are having a small ceremony and a large party to follow. We have been together for 5 yrs and have a child, so in our minds, we are already married. The celebration is just that...a celebration, a time for people to have fun and celebrate with us. I do hovever think that special circumstances may come into play. I think it has more to do with personal preference than tact. Personally, we both want to say a quick "I do" then move on to the party!
I am doing the same thing! My finance and I are having a small ceramony, but then we will have a big reception! No one has said anything to me about it being mean!