Wedding Resources - We have been asked to pay for some "Wedding Favors"?

We have been asked to pay for some "Wedding Favors"?

My husband & I will be attending a wedding out of town & are paying for our hotel rm. For some very close friend's daughter's wedding on:7/707. I rec'd. a call from the mother of the bride wanting to know; if we would contribute to help the bride(her daughter) & groom pay for half of their "Wedding Favors"? I said yes. I assumed the amt. for us would be nominal ! "These wedding favors/candy" (I believe with their Nm's., wedding dt.,to give to their wedding guest). Obviously cost $350.00 total. Because, I received an e-mail from the bride thanking us (in advance) for the $150.00 & an address where to send the check). - My ?: Is it proper for any bride to request financial assistance from (non-immediate family member's)? The bride is an "Event Planner" for a major restaurant chain. Lastly, how much should I spend on a wedding gift? Esp., since, they did not state..for the wedding favors in lieu of a wedding gift ! my email is: BRENDITA@HUGHES.NET Thank you for your reply!

Public Comments

wow...sounds tacky in my opinion.
I would consider that contribution my gift. I feel her request was very improper to begin with.
I don't think that it would ever be appropriate for the bride, groom, parents to ask others to help with the cost of a wedding. It's their decision on the size of the wedding so they should plan one they can afford. Besides if the bride is an event planner, she should be able to get some deals.
If I were you - I'd pay for the favors and not get her a gift. It isn't wrong for her to ask, but, you've already accepted. Besides, after that - she'd be wrong to also expect a gift from you since you've already given her one in advance.
They have alot of balls to ask such a thing!!! Only send what you would give as a gift and make that be their gift!!! I can't believe the nerve of some people especially the mother!!!! HOW RUDE!!!!
Shouldn't have said yes without getting all the details first. If you are paying the $150.00 dollars I would buy a gift in the range of $50.00 -$75.00. (depending on how close you are with this girl and her family) If you are not very close I would consider the $150.00 as a wedding gift. I have never in my life heard of this and I personally think it is very rude.
It is rather unusual for this type of request if you are a non immediate family member as you stated. However, since you agreed to do this, you are not required to bring a gift. If you are uncomfortable with this then something simple will be fine. A gift certificate to Bed, Bath and Beyond for under/at $50 will suffice. I have to admit this rather surprised me as it is in very poor taste on the bride and groom's part to ask anyone to help them pay for wedding favors. This is something that they are to do for their guests and if they cannot afford it, it is really not a requirement. Very strange!
Not sure if you want to leave your email address in the question so if this question disappears soon I won't be too surprised. It's not typical to ask anyone to pay for the wedding expenses. While 350 isn't too bad for favors, asking someone you invited to the wedding to cover that cost is tacky in my opinion. However, I hope that in the future before you agree to pay for things you get a firm number from them because they could have just as easily called asking for 600 or more for the favors. I wouldn't give a terribly large gift at this point.
WHAT????? This is insane. This is definitely NOT normal, the gall of these people has seriously astounded me. I think I was just like a cartoon character where my eyes bugged all the way out when I read your post. These are friends, I would call that mother back and say, "I'm sorry, I misunderstood what you were asking me, its not possible for me at this time to contribute to your daughters wedding fund" and hang up. I would also rethink attending this wedding.
If you decide to help them and pay the $150 I would not give a gift, and just state that helping them with favors is your gift to them. Or, pay what you wish to help them out with, and add another gift if you wish.
No, it is NOT proper wedding etiquette to ask for money to pay for "favors" that is traditionally the Brides parents expense. In lieu of a gift, simply give a wedding card with the check for the "favors" and leave it at that. I would consider the whole thing very rude and presumptuous.
Wow, I cannot believe she would ask you to help pay for the wedding! I would not give them a gift...I would consider the $150 to be in lieu of the gift. I would give them a card. thats it.
They should not have to state that this is in lieu of a wedding gift...in particular because gifts are ALWAYS optional. It's pretty ballsy of them to ask you, but sometimes this is what family and friends do for each other. I have received financial help in planning my daughter's wedding, so I know what a boon it can be. Please don't buy another gift for the bride & groom...get them a card, and send your best wishes, and consider yourself done with it.
Tell her that you thought that the cost was going to be about $50 when she asked, so that cost of $150 is way to much for you to spend. So offer her the $50 and buy her a gift like a toaster, crock pot or some other useful gift for around $40.
I think it's improper for the bride to request financial contributions from her friends and not her immediate family. This is her event and you are an invited guest! I think since you have to pay for a hotel room in order to attend the wedding, plus contribute to her wedding favor cost you should skip the wedding gift. Contribute to the favors and send her the check with a nice card or note basically stating that in lieu of another gift you are purchasing her favors. I don't think any other gift is necessary. And I don't think the bride should expect another gift. You've spent enough money.
nope no extra gift. helping contribute to the planning/decorating is your gift! she won't be suprised.
is this family putting the names of who paid for what on the invitations?? if you do end up paying they better put your name on it.... also that is not right to throw it on you like that especially if your not realated to them you should respond to the email saying that you had not given her an answere yet and that you have to check with your husband or check your expenses first and youll let her know if its possible to help her out... she obiously doesnt care abut you she just wants this paid anyway possible, i personally wouldnt do it.... has she even talked to you directly asking you???
I have never heard anything more rude and cheap in my life! If you ask around with other guests you will probably find you are not the only ones. I bet they have asked others to contribute for other things too! I would not buy a gift. I would send a card, saying that you hope that they enjoyed your contribution to their wedding. Asking for a gift as well is just rude...and pushing the friendship a bit far!!
wow, I certainly would not be happy with that at all. My wedding favors cost me a whole $30 lol. (I'm cheap and know how to spend money wisely and where......) I That is very rude and tacky for her to send a thank you note before you even helped her out!!! WHAT THE F...... is that all about? Thats so rude!!!! Thats just like asking for more than she should get. If someone sent me a note that said thanks for the $150 gift you WILL be donating to us. thats tacky, thats horrible. I wouldnt buy them a gift. I'd buy them a card that says congratulations. Your generous (holyshyt) donation of $150 on wedding favors was more than you should have EVER had to do for her. She's not YOUR daughter.. geesh. Sorry I just hate it when people go outside of family and friends for help... especially financial assistance. they're not family, they shouldnt have askedf or that much.
I would be very offended. I can not imagine anyone calling and asking for this amount of money. If she were a God Child maybe asking for a contribution of your choice. I would not buy a wedding gift. I would get a nice card and be done with it.