Wedding Resources

Bridal shower advice...?

I am the maid of honor in my friends wedding. The bridal shower is at one of the bridesmaid's mother's houses (don't ask my why). There are 3 bridesmaids and the closest one lives 3 hours away. I am the only local one. I am organizing the invites and favors, another girl is organizing the games and prizes, and the one who is having that shower at her mother's house is taking care of food, desserts, decor. My question is what do I tell the last bridesmaid to do to help get ready for the shower?? I feel like all the details have been taken care of. She lives 3 hours away by car and is a very busy person. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how she can participate?

Public Comments

1. have the gal doing the invites make her the rsvp contact point. she can be in charge of following up to make sure who all will attend and who can't
2. see if she can help one of you other girls with something... are you splitting all the costs evenly? if she can't really help out wtih anything physically then just ask her to pitch in some money to cover the costs.... the bridal party i'm in now is spread out all over the country... so the local people will be doing a little more in terms of picking things up, but we're all sharing ideas over email and then splitting up the total cost so everyone pays even. and that sounds nice that it's at a mothers house!
3. One small thing that's really helpful - is organizing the gifts, giving them one by one to the bride-to-be, and then as she opens them, writing down who gave the gift, and what it is. This REALLY helps with the thank-you notes after the shower!
4. I would assign her to gift duty on the day of the shower. She can be the bridesmaid that writes down the each guests name and the gift they gave. This helps the bride when she is writing out her thank yous. Also, perhaps she can help set up and do the decorations. Have her come to the shower a little bit earlier and help with any last second issues.
5. well she can probably help with the games, keep food dishes replenished and clean up and maybe the list of who bought what. Have fun
6. i guess her job will be AT the party... she'll make sure people are being served, help you welcome the people.. pick the music.. run last minute arons .. split costs with her.. what else can she do if she's soooo far, but help with the $. she can even bring prizes to the event as well
7. Maybe at the shower she can write down the gifts received or something like that.
8. I would assign her to be in charge of picking up the drinks- why should the one be in charge of all the food! maybe paper plates, plastic ware, cups, ice also. call the one girl and tell her not to do those items then so the other girl can feel like she has duties also!
9. Have her handle the guest list, follow-up on anyone who hasn't rsvp'd, etc. Put both her phone number and e-mail address as the contact info for her since she does live far away. People may appreciate not having to make a long-distance phone call to rsvp. Have her be responsible for getting the final guest count so the food and other details can be planned accordingly.
10. I'm sure she would like to feel like she was a part of the planning process since the other two of you are. Here are a few ideas of what she could do to help out: ~ Gift Duty - write down the gift and the giver as the bride is opening her gifts so that she can send out the thank you cards ~ Buy the paper goods if you are using any - paper plates, napkins, cups, etc. ~ Set up the shower area on the day of the shower ~ Be in charge of the RSVPs - have the guests RSVP to her and she can keep track and follow up with them Or you could always just give her a call and ask her what she would like to do and what would be the easiest on her, being the one that lives the farthest away.
11. Several respondants have mentioned putting this lady in charge of keeping the list of who gave what. This is a great idea, but I'd take it even further. She should have a photo of each gift to help her with the job of writing "on behalf of" thank you letters. This was a new one to me as well, but Miss Manners says there is nothing incorrect about it, and it would sure make easier for brides and grooms. An "on behalf of" thank you for a shower present might read something like "Dear Rose Garland, Francine asked me tell you how [pleased, thrilled, gratified, touched] she is by you [generous, thoughtful, unique, useful, tasteful, elegant] gift. She is sure it will add [excitement, convenience, beauty, color, elegance] to her [kitchen, dining room, bathroom, honeymoon, home] and is looking forward to using it. She asked me to send her [grateful best wishes, love, fond regards] and to say that she [is looking forward to seeing you, is sorry she won't be seeing you] at the wedding. Very sincerely, Natalie Drest (Francine's bridesmaid) These messages should be writtin on plain letter paper, formal notes, or informal notes. Informal notes are the ones with pictures of flowers, lighthouses, etc, on the front. Formal thank yous should never be writting on paper or cards with pri-printed messages, not even the words 'thank you'. The writer uses her own return address and should mail out all the thank yous on the same day.