Wedding Resources - Wedding Guest Survey - How important is all the 'Stuff'?

Wedding Guest Survey - How important is all the 'Stuff'?

My wedding is in 12 days - I went the non-traditional route - no church, evening wedding, cocktails and hors d'ouvres, personalized music and vows. All I want is for my guests to have fun and for the wedding to be a reflection of my fiance and myself. The question is - how important is all the 'stuff' we brides spend $ on for our weddings? Is it necessary to break the bank in order to have a great day? I definitely did not. In the end, will the guests remember the exact details of the centrepieces, the cake, the decorations and the bouquets? Would fabric tied around chairs really matter? With the shows on TV and the magazines dedicated to weddings, it seems normal to spend crazy amounts of $ on the little stuff. I want to hear from brides, grooms and wedding guests - how important is the 'stuff' to you? If the food, music, and company is good - do people need to fret about the rest? I want to know if I'm the only one who feels this way. I should mention - The decor at our wedding will be nice, there will be flowers and cake, etc...I've just cut a lot of corners (buttercream instead of fondant, simple centrepieces instead of tons of flowers, I made my invites...) By 'stuff' I mean $400 tiaras, personalized napkins, $15000 buffets... imported orchids...

Public Comments

I read an article years ago before I was married about the things guests care/notice. The top were food, bride's gown and the cake. Spend your money on those things and you can't go wrong.
Weddings are a billion dollar business these days so of course the magazines and shows want you to feel you absolutely have to have this and this and this because everybody who is everybody is getting it blah, blah, blah..... People will remember if they had a good time 5 years from now but not you centerpiece or cake or "favors" etc... Have a day that will make you and your guy happy because after all that's who it's all about anyway!!!
People will remember the overall look, but not necessarily the details. The last great wedding I went to, I remember being really impressed with the food and the entertainment. They actually flew in a famous wedding singer/dj from texas all the way to ny. I remember exactly what the bridesmaids dresses looked like, because at that time, I had never seen the color gold actually look good on anyone. I also remember the people I got seated with. (That was the only negative. Be really careful with seating arrangements). I remember that everything looked stunning together, but I couldn't tell you what flowers were in the centerpieces. The thing is, though, that while guests won't remember specifics versus overall, the specifics are what goes into the overall to make it what it is. You can cut corners in lots of ways as long as the overall look still reflects what you're trying to create. Oh, and I remember what the invitations looked like. Classic and elegant. Her dress was beautiful as well, but I have no idea what the cake looked like. People will really only remember the details that stick out to them for one reason or another. After reading your added details, sounds like you're on the right track. Those are things that can easily and unnoticeably be exchanged and the overall effect is the same. Nobody will notice monogrammed napkins or personalized bottles of water. The people who do notice that stuff are probably in the process of planning their own weddings or they have something to do with the event coordinating/decorating business. Other than that, sounds like you're doing fine. And no, that "stuff" doesn't really matter unless you've really got your heart set on it.
Nope it doesn't matter. Color coordinating and centerpices will not be remembered,. Favors will be mostly go to thee trash. At the end, no one will remember if your bm wore strpless or spaguetti straps. People will remember the food and the liquour. People will remember if you greeted them or not, people will remember if you don't send a thank you card on a timely manner. Those are really the things that matter. Bussiness wants you to BUY their items and that's why they tell you that they are "traditional". Traditional weddins are nothing but an euphemism for "traditional bussiness": -$60 per plate of chicken and potatoes -$15 dollars for the cheapest possible wine -$100 for the worst looking BM dress The industry is just disgusting. They pry on people's feelings because they know that peole will "expect" that same show. That's why people get in debp to do all of those unnecesary stuff, at the end, people feel like they are getting ripped of and they have the resto of their married life to repay for the stupid personalized beer mugs and tacky glass swans. Good luck
i have often wondered why ppl go out and spend gobs and gobs of money on a wedding when they can use that money starting theire life together. i had a friend who just got married and she spent over 8000.00 on here wedding and ther were defiantly other things there that could have used that money for. she did it all by the book and it wasn't her first marriage either. so yeah . i think you have done the right thing by trying to save money. good luck and God bless
Weddings do get out of hand, the price can go up very quickly. I know someone who spend a years salary ($30,000 to $40,000) on a wedding. It is just one day that takes months to years of planning that is over in what seems like a matter of minutes. Being a guest, I focus my attention to creative effects on things like food and favors. They are two little things that people seem to not put alot of ideas into. I perosnally hate cookie-cutter menus and favors. It really isn't the amount that was spent on a wedding, but the personally touch the bride and groom placed on it. I'm taking this outlook and putting it into my own wedding. I have better things to use the money for, like a house.
i am getting married in 5 days.. and all the trimmings.. the "stuff" is just "stuff".. my tablecloths will not match..i made my centerpieces.. if someone thinks the wedding isn't nice because i have metal folding chairs instead of the nice wood ones.. they shouldn't have been invited and they will no longer be a part of my life. i like to have nice things.. i am sure we all do, but i don't want to break the bank on rented china.. and who discusses the china after the wedding.. people should be saying that they had a blast.. and that i looked beautiful.. heehee i am the bride.. i will be gorgeous. so i agree with you.. the crazy amount of money people spend on wedding is just that.. crazy. its the big picture that matters.. the marriage... not the flowers. P.S i have spent about $5K on EVERYTHING... caterer, flowers, decor, favors, tux, ect...
I remember the one thing most unusual or unique about every wedding I've ever been to, and have a general impression about the location, food, and the bride's dress. For instance, I remember the wedding where the groom played a song he'd written for the bride. I remember the wedding where the bride and groom exited in a shower of rose petals up a grand stairway that led from the ballroom to the rest of the hotel. I remember the crazy amount of chocolate desserts a couple had instead of a cake. I remember the pictures one couple used to name every table, instead of the traditional numbers. The wedding industry expects brides to hear numbers like "that'll be $250 per centerpiece" and just get out our checkbooks. But really, no one will remember, and everyone will have a good time if the bride and groom are genuinely in love, and lots of fun if the food and music are also good.
The "stuff" isn't that important but shouldn't be completely ignored either. I mean, if I was a guest and went to a wedding with filet mignon served on folding card tables with plastic lawn chairs I wouldn't think it was that great. Am I going to notice that your napkins perfectly match your invitations....probably not. Some effort should be visible though.
nice for the guests to be able to take home some memories of the ceremony, especially if they are very close to the bride/groom
I personally do not pay much attention to all the "stuff". What is most important is that your friends and family have a good time, and "stuff" is not necessarily a requirement for that. My fiance and I are currently trying to sort out which things are really important and which are nothing but clever marketing ploys to try to get people to buy a bunch of crap they don't need. (no...no cynicism here!) My preference is for simple and elegant rather than elaborate. For the centerpieces: try a pretty vase with a single red rose. Also, you do not need napkins and plates with your names printed on them. Just get nice, normal napkins that match the colors of the hall. Instead of hiring a DJ, have a friend use an iPod and sound system to provide the music. You don't need fabric tied around chairs - it will only get food spilled on it! Boquets: again - simple elegance. Just use real flowers! :-) I think that you are *very smart* to realize that you can have a lovely wedding without breaking the bank. I don't understand the couples who decide to start their lives together with thousands of dollars of wedding debt. The guests will not notice the minute details, and these details can get expensive very quickly. the guests will notice the Bride, the Groom, the food, the music, and the overall atmosphere. Because your wedding is non-traditional (like ours will be), guests will remember it for its uniqueness. Congratulations!!
My dress was $98, my tiara $16, I'm making the veil for about $10, my shoes $12.50, we're making funny but inexpensive favors (about $3.50 apiece), we're making the centerpieces, having very few flowers, doing the invitations, programs, and place cards ourselves. Nobody is going to know or care about any of that. We put our money towards good food, an open bar and a really good DJ. For us, the reception is all about having fun and for our guests to enjoy. I think you're spot on!
They won't remember the decor, or if the chairs were covered. They WILL remember a beautiful ceremony, if they were not fed a full dinner, if there were no open bar, and if the music was lousy.
Should people take out loans and go into debt over a wedding? Of course not. Is it wrong for rich people to spend $100,000 for a wedding? Absolutely not. Even though our wedding will be beautiful and chic, we cut a lot of corners to keep within budget (a bunch of cakes instead of an expensive wedding cake, Ipod for music, buffet instead of sit-down meal, etc.). I know no one remembers all the details put into a wedding, but, maybe because I work in special events, I like the details, and if I had the money, a lot more would go into the wedding, including being able to invite more people, because I love entertaining. I do consider myself lucky that even with a limited budget we are having a really nice wedding: my dress is beautiful (and costs only $40), we're getting married in an art loft with a garden for the ceremony, his brother's composing the music, the decor will be urbane and simple and the food will be incredible.
I've been attending weddings for over forty years. I've been to huge blowouts and tiny, intimate gatherings; church weddings, and pagan handfastings; receptions where we were served elaborate plated meals, simple buffets, or cake and punch; ones with open bars and ones that were dry; ones that cost tens of thousands of dollars and ones that cost maybe a couple hundred all told; ones dripping in exotic blooms, and ones where the only flowers in sight were a small bridal bouquet. In short, I've been to nearly every kind of wedding possible short of an exotic week-long celebration or a quick ceremony in a naturist camp. I may or may not remember precisely what I ate, what flowers were used, how well the table linens coordinated with the bridesmaids dresses or a dozen other tiny details that were no doubt wildly important to the bride as she planned her day, but there are a couple things that always stand out: how I was treated, whether my physical needs were adequately seen to, and whether the bride looked happy or frazzled. Those are the details that really matter. Long after everyone has forgotten whether your colors were apricot and spring green or Tiffany blue and chocolate, guests remember there weren't enough of the yummy looking crab cakes for them to get one. Years after nobody can recall whether you carried cala lillies or carnations, guests will still resent the fact that the couple never made it over to say hello, but spent the whole time communing with each other in a corner. And well after the day when nobody has the faintest idea whether you had tulle bows or greenery garlands, everyone will recall that there weren't enough chairs to go around and the bathroom was terrifying. Those are the details that really matter the most. If you take care of your guests and put some thought into a meaningful ceremony, nobody will care very much whether everything else looks like it came out of a magazine. Fourteen years ago, I spent about $2000 on putting together a wedding. To this day I get compliments on it. I remember the details of ribbons and silk and precisely what food was served. What the guests remember is a relaxed, happy bridal couple who mingled freely with them, plenty of seating and toilet facilities; more than enough food and drink to go around; and the sort of good time that springs from being content. The rest is all details, and is only of marginal importance to most people outside the immediate family.
honey you do not have to spend thousands fo rthis to be the best day of your life, you need to do what is right fo ryou all. sounds great good luck
You could purchase a wedding website from http://www.weddingwebsitedesign.net and post a poll on your own website.