Wedding Resources

Wedding Shower Food Ideas Knowledge Base

what are some good food ideas for a wedding shower? what are some good food ideas for a wedding shower my sisters wedding shower is coming up and me and her maid of honor our in charge of the food. what are some good things to make?? theres gonna be about 15 people
Anyone have any ideas for BBQ food for a wedding shower? We're throwing a wedding shower at an outdoor park. We're on a pretty tight budget and there will be 30-35 people so we were just planning to do hamburgers and hot dogs, chips, salads etc. But do people hate hamburgers and hot dogs? Is it considered cheap? I don't want people to be dissappointed..
Planning a couples wedding shower any ideas? I am planning a couples shower and I am trying to come up with some theme such as the "honey-do" theme and I am trying to find or come up with some games that would be fun and not like your normal bridal shower games, and food options, any ideas?? This is happening VERY soon and on a budget.
Ideas for a "Set the Table" Wedding shower? I volunteered to throw a wedding shower for my friend and she would like to have a "Set the Table" shower- most of the gifts would be centered around her casual and elegant china sets. But what should I do for the actual shower- table settings? games? foods? decorations? that would go along with this theme? I can't find any examples on the internet with ideas....
Wedding Shower Ideas?? My Mom && Step mother are throwing me a Bridal Shower. Nothing fancy. A barbaque and its for the guys && Girls. Does anyone have any ideas on what to serve for food? or games? and any feedback at all?? it would be much apprecated if someone could help me with some ideas =) Thanx!
finger food recipes for a couples wedding shower?? We are giving a couples shower for my brother and his fiance. There will be about 20 couples at the shower. We are wanting to serve finger foods, but are concerned that finger foods are not going to be "manly" enough for all the guys at the shower. We just don't want to grill or have any type of "sit down and eat" foods, because there will be so much going on, and there will be drinking and we don't want every one to think they have to sit down and eat a "meal". Have any ideas or good finger food recipes?
What is a good menu for a Lingerie Wedding Shower? I am catering a Lingerie themed Wedding Shower and would like some ideas for the menu. I was thinking since it was a lingerie shower, the food could be "Naughty & Nice". "Naughty" food could be Hot and Spicy while "Nice" food could be light or sweet. Any ideas? Also, and "spicy" drink ideas?
Wedding Shower? Ok so my fiance and I are having a small beach wedding with only family and close friends. However we are moving a couple weeks afterwards far away and can't afford a big reception back home. We were trying to figure out a way that we could host a Wedding Shower type thing where we can do gifts and small snack foods while just celebrating with the people who can't be there. However we don't want it to be a certain gender base, nor a couple's shower. Any ideas here or help would be wonderful? what do we call the celebration and is this even acceptable?? We aren't inviting several people to the beach wedding since it is several hours away (14) and we planned our wedding on very short notice, and many people can't make it that far away so quickly or do not have the money for another vacation during the summer with these new gas prices. We are not trying to be selfish...
Does anybody have ideas as to what to do for a wedding shower? My older sister is getting married on march 10th we chose to do a shower for her on march 2nd but I am at a loss of things to do and food to serve if you have any ideas let me know thanks.
Bachelorette & Bridal Shower Ideas? It's getting down to the wire for my best friends wedding. I have the majority of it planned, but I was looking for some last minute ideas for the parties and some food ideas.
Calla Lily Bridal Shower Theme Ideas? I am planning a bridal shower for my girlfriend. She was going to have calla lillies in her wedding, but was unable to work them in so I want to have them be the theme for the bridal shower. Unfortunately this is not a very popular theme. I am having problems finding ideas and creative ways to incorporate the lillies. Any ideas to work them in? Color suggestions? Decoration ideas? Food? Favors? etc.... I am on a budget. I am the MOH, but unsure if other girls will pitch in...is it rude to ask? How does this work? Advice? I found invitations online $12.00 for 50 of them. Is this a good price? I am not very experienced with all of this.... Thanks for your help!!!!
I need ideas for planning the bridal shower which will be a few hours before the rehearsal dinner.? My cousins is getting married and some of guest she wants at her bridal shower will be coming the day before the wedding so we are having to plan a bridal shower for 2:00 and the dinner is at 6. I'm having trouble figuring out the best food to have there since some of the people will be at the dinner to. Friday night is her bachorlette party, Saturday is the bridal shower in the afternoon and rehearsal dinner in the evening, and then the wedding is on Sunday. I can pretty much handle the games but I need other ideas. THANKS!!
Wedding shower/luncheon in NYC for about 30 ppl? Any ideas for a place for a wedding luncheon/shower in NYC? Fairly casual (in ambiance and price!). People are coming from Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, NJ, etc, so I want some place fairly convient for them all.... so esp by a train station would be great! But any ideas helpful! (and by a good price I really am looking at $30/pp since most places in NY have a high room rental charge before you even factor in the food!) I'm thinking northern Brooklyn is the most convient location wise.
Giving a bridal shower; what to serve with different flavors of coffee? The shower will be in the afternoon, so we don't need a lot of food. I was thinking coffee cake or something. Any great ideas? All I can find are summery type foods, like fruit salad, etc. I can't find a single winter wedding shower menu.
Cheap Wedding ideas? Me and my fiance are planning our wedding for July 26,2008. we have been engaged for nearly 6 months and just started planning our wedding today. We dont have the money for anything big, so we're trying to cut alot of corners. heres what we have so far: *money dance at reception *outside wedding/reception at a park or family members back yard *we send out with your invitations a piece of card paper for the guests to send in their favorite recipe's, and we make the food (saves a lot on caterers) *we're writing our own vows *no engagement party, co-ed bridal/groom shower thats basically all we have so far. What are some other ideas? we need to save money for our honeymoon (a cruise) we want a wedding with like 50-70 guests. but we need help and cant afford a wedding planner. PLEASE HELP US! this is the biggest day of our lives (besides the birth of our future child[ren]) our list of ideas isnt in any specific order.
Ideas for bridal shower.? I am throwing a bridal shower for my sister in a few weeks and I need some ideas for games, decor, food. Nothing too naughty. (Grandma may be there.) Would like an eligant theme. It will be the afternoon before the wedding, so I want it to be relaxing but fun. Any ideas will help. Thanks
ideas for a princess themed bridal shower? I am the MOH for my sister's wedding and the theme i chose for her bridal shower is 'pretty pretty princess'. i know that the cake is going to be a castle but i dont know what to do for food, decorations, games etc... i want this to be fun but not too childish. thanks for your help!! (disney princess' are good)
Whats the big deal about the mother of the bride hosting a bridal shower? dont most ppl expect to be invited? I am willing to pay for the food/catering for my daughters wedding shower to ensure all the female guests that are invited to the wedding are also extended an invite to the shower. My own wedding shower was done as one big event. The grooms family has already indicated an interest in hosting a shower. So my thought is to host a shower only for our side....or to offer to have a joint shower.......just interested in some thoughts on this. If not, do you offend the people who wont be invited to a shower? (I have only one sister in law out of town if she throws a shower or if the maid of honor throws a shower, I would assume they would invite only the people they know....). thanks ahead of time for sharing your ideas and experience....
what are you supposed to do at wedding showers? i have no idea what to do. my fiance and i are getting married in early june. i have no idea where to have it, what food if any, what to do?? help!!??
Need help planning early Summer Bridal Shower for sister's late summer wedding? I got married last October and my little sister was my maid-of-honor. She planned my showers and had very little time to do them. She did a great job with the time frame she had. She just popped up last month with her wedding plans for this August. She's 18 and already has things in motion for this wedding. Since I'm the matron-of-honor it's my job to plan, host and put on her showers, as she did mine, along with the help of the other 6 bridesmaids. I have already planned a jewelry party but I want to theme it and can't come up with anything to go along with the jewelry party theme. Her other bridesmaids are so spread apart and hard to get ahold of so they're little to no help at this point in time. Also, does anyone have new or genius ideas for games or entertainment? The food is already taken care of. We are having it at a restaurant so people can order food while we're enjoying the jewelry and games. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Her soon-to-be already has a fully furnished house. The jewelry party isn't for people to bring her jewelry. It's for people to see, enjoy and possibly buy the jewelry being showed. She gets a portion of the sales and can in turn purchase her wedding jewelry that way if she chooses to do so. Also, the gifts given aren't supposed to be jewelry. They will be the practical gifts and it will state that in the invitations. Besides, she's not a very practical person and the jewelry party is what she wanted. I'm too poor to pick up the tab at the place where we'll be. I'm also including the "pay for your own meal" information in the invitation. I'm not totally brain dead. The people we are inviting will either share a meal with someone else, have their own, or won't eat at all. That's their choice. I just know that the bridesmaids, including myself can't afford the bill for food and drinks.
20s themed bridal shower? My sister is getting married and I am throwing her a bridal shower, but i'm stuck on ideas! The wedding is 1920s themed, so the shower will be too. Does anyone have ideas for decorations, games, food-anything that has to do with the 20s? Thank you!(:
I need some creative ideas regarding a party!!? I am from Canada and we have things called a stag and doe. These are a celebration for a couple getting married for a couples night out rather then a bachelor night/girls night out. They are tons of fun with food, games and stuff to help raise money for the couple. Well my parents 25th anniversary is in january. They got married at city hall, never had a honeymoon, or wedding shower or anything at all related. We wanted as children to have a stag and doe like thing for them to celebrate with family. We are trying to think of a name for a older couple besides stag and doe. Anyone have any ideas what we can call it??? We have thought : Buck N Loon" and a few others but nothing that clicks!! Thanks for ANY ideas!!!!!
Is this a tacky idea for a Bridal Shower? I'm throwing a Bridal Shower for my soon to be sister in law. I'm the MOH and this is a first for me. I don't want to do the usual kind of shower (you know wedding bells, decorations, etc.). The couples wedding is Feb. 28th, 2009 which is 4 days after Mardi Gras. I'm thinking of having the Shower a couple of weeks before the wedding. My question is would it be tacky to throw a Mardi Gras themed Bridal Shower? I'm think decorations and food wise, but I still want to keep some of the traditional Bridal Shower. What do you all think? Thanks for the input. We are going to be combineing the Bridal Shower and the Bachelorette Party into one day would the Mardi Gras theme work better that way? Again, thanks for the input. My Bride only wants it to be female. Also the reason I ask is because the bridal party consists of me, the MOH, and her 2 daughters who are Junior Bridesmaids (10 and 13). Of course I'm going to include them but since they are younger, I thought it best that I do the most of the planning.
Garden Party Shower? I am the maid of honor in my sister-in-laws wedding in October and for her shower i would like to set a garden party theme. We are having it outside and the favors for everyone to take home will be small (about 3 inches high) terra cotta pots with seed packets in the pot that have the bride and grooms name on them. Anyone know where I can buy those pots in bulk cheaper AND any ideas on games or foods or anything to make the shower better?
Bridal Shower Questions? I am in charge of my cousin's bridal shower. This is my first, so I'm a little nervous, but oh so excited! I have a few questions...so if you could, help me out! :) - Do we incorporate the colors of the wedding in the shower also? -Should there be a certain attire? -Setting? Where at? Restaurant, Park, etc... -Should there be music in the background? -Food! I guessing finger foods, but I'm not sure. -I'm in need of FUN games that will get everyone pumped! -The soon-to-be Husband is in the military. Do I involve that with something? It's all women, so would it matter? -After they get married, they're moving to a different state because of his service. They would like money cards of some sort because they don't need anymore packing of presents than necessary. How do I put that on the invitations while being tasteful and polite? -Should there be a theme or what? -Are there speeches at bridal showers? If so, can you give me an idea of what it would be like? Thanks bunches to everyone who answers! If there is anything I might have missed, please let it be known!
I'm bestwoman at son's wedding. Bachelor party plans are required. No clue. No drinking. No stripper. Help! I have been asked to stand up next to my son as his "Bestwoman". His Dad passed away and he and I are best buds. I don't drink, won't consider a stripper but do not have a clue what to plan that will be not only enjoyable but memorable as well. Bridal shower I have no trouble with, but a bachelor party? I need some really cool ideas for food, fun, and entertainment. Please only serious people with good ideas reply. I would like to know about decorations, if any, location, time, day I just don't know. Thanks for the input My son and I are close. I am very close with my soon to be daughter-in-law. She thinks it's cool and trusts me to make it a good night/day/event for him. The classic get drunkslobberoverthestripper is unimaginable, not creative and he and his friends have their times when they do their "thing" about the "guy" stuff. My son had given me a prrvelige and bestowed on me an honor by making this request. You rednecks out there......It's the 21st century and why the heck can't I? Some traditions need to be shaken up and changed. Life is too short for humdrum boring everybody does it this way. We are cool with the changes.........open up your minds to the possibilities people. I appreciate some of your answers. They are creative, and very open minded and accepting which is really cool. I will wait for more. Thanks Remember he ASKED me. I know his likes, dislikes etc. Was looking for ideas, not criticism, put downs, or personal psyco analysis. Ideas. Really good ideas.
Bridal Shower Luncheon? I am the maid of honor in an upcoming wedding. I am planning on putting on a Spring Luncheon/Bridal Shower at my house. I plan on doing and indoor/outdoor party with finger foods and salads, wine, fresh flowers etc. I also plan on renting a tent and tables/chairs incase of bad weather, it will be the first week of May in New England. Hopefully it will be beautiful. Any ideas of things I could be missing?
Golden Handcuffs or Disrespecting? I'm 35 years old and I've worked for a huge company for 3 years as a secretary and they just majorly downsized. It's been over three weeks and everyone that's left has been placed in their new position and knows who their new manager is but me. The first week I figured, I would not say anything because no one knew what was going on with anyone. By the 2nd week, everyone had pretty much figured out where they were in the organization and by now, people are actually settling in. During the second week, I started asking my old manager who my new manager was going to be and he kept saying he had no idea. I contacted HR and the director of HR said she didn't know and that someone would tell me. I asked both of those people two more times and have been given the same answer so last week I stopped asking. My old manager actually told me to stop asking everyone. I have essentially had NO work to do. I work from home 4 days a week and when I go into the office, I still do nothing. I have watched countless hours of tv, done my laundry, cleaned my house, gone food shopping, planned a wedding shower for my cousin, and the list goes on and on and through it all, I'm collecting a paycheck. Everyone keeps telling me, I should keep my mouth shut and continue getting paid to watch Divorce Court and take my dog for a walk. I know for a fact the company did not forget about me but this is kind of crazy. I'm starting to feel like I'm being disrespected. Or, on the other hand, is it foolish for me to start looking for another job and should I continue to ride this out? For how long? My friends keep saying it's a "dream job" but I feel like a bum.
Bridal shower? We are having a destination wedding in St. Lucia, just the 2 of us. I want to have a celebration party with all of my friends and family but feel weird throwing one for ourselves especially since we are getting married alone. I don't want it for the gifts, I want it to celebrate have some good food and games.Any ideas? I've never even been to a bridal party soo.. I need to know if this is completley out of the question or not. Thank you so much!!
I need help with games for a bridal shower/bachelorette party.? Help! I am helping my coworkers throw a bridal shower/bachelorette party for my unit secretary this Saturday. I have got decorations, food, and drinks. Now I need games and prizes. Any new & fresh games? I have done so many showers & used the same games over & over again(toilet paper wedding dress, how well do you know the bride, famous couples, the purse game, etc). The bride is pregnant, however there will be drinks served for the rest of us. No strippers please. Will be at our friends' home. Also, what about prizes? Thanks so much for your help. It is taxing to come up with new ideas for each and every party.
Hi, i want to get a restaurant with entertaiment for kids/adult birthday and game i baker/cake decorator? the restaurant i want is very special because i want kids, and adults of all ages to have fun if is to celebrate a birthday, baby shower, wedding, any party i like to do it in my place, i will coordinate everything i will make the cake everything food also will be included in the package, first i need to know how much money i need for the small business, i want everybody to have a day or night that they never forget, i don't want to spend to much money on rent etc. i also need a nice name for the business, it's like a family day out or celebration etc. what kind of equipment i need for the restaurant. i'll have a small bakery inside the restaurant i appreciate any ideas, thanks
Bridal shower planning? I am the maid of honor for my sisters wedding I am having her party Sun March 23, 2008. Her and her husband to be are going to Hawaii for there honeymoon. So I thought a Hawaiin themed party would be nice. I am just not sure what time of food and how to decorate the house. Any ideas?
OMG! My stupid sister spilled chocolate syrup on my wedding dress, and my wedding is tomorrow!? OMG! My stupid sister spilled chocolate syrup on my wedding dress, and my wedding is tomorrow!? Okay, so thurs. was my bridal shower, and were all having fun, then they ask me to try on the dress, and i said yeah, then my stupid sis, quickly put a bowl of chocolate syrup on the seat i was going to sit on! now it looks like i took a $h!t on my dress! I really tired EVERYTHING! I took it to the dry cleaners, and to special places, to fix it, but nothing will work! It's a Vera Wang dress, that cost 10,000 dollars, and I asked her to custom ONE thing, (that was my moms) and it cost 1,000 extra! and, iDK what to do! and then yesturday, we went to the hospital only to find out my sister got herpes from my sister-in-law! there GAY! we had NO idea, i was going to have her help the brides maid get dressed.....ew... omg! so, i even tired getting a new dress, but no place is open, they are all going to a convention! I feel horrible, Gordon Ramsey has already started making the food, and Rihanna won't let us change the day, and everything is. IDK, i mean i am turning to the internet! HELP! 58 seconds ago - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 1 second ago we are having the wedding on sunday, b/c march 2nd is the first day we met.....
Annoyed... am I wrong? Here we go.... I am so irritated and after searching this online and getting many answers I am still quite confused on whether what I am feeling is how I should feel. My brother is getting married to a girl who for the past 3 years has spent every holiday including her B-Day's at my mom's house. I am married and obviously always there for every occassion. Her parents live in another state and of her 2 brothers only 1 does she really speak with... we won't explain details here. We have treated her as one of the family, buying gifts and never leaving her out. This girl, who has spent every special occassion with us, of whom my family has opened their door to, decides to get on my brother's back about demanding a ring after he has been out of work for nearly 2 years and just started working. She sends her requests to my sister about the perfect 2 carat ring she desires - needs to be F color or better, needs to be 2 carats or better and nothing below a VS1 quality. She tells her to have me help him because I already went thru it. I take him no questions asked - spend 4 hours with him at my jeweler which I don't care about the time but then he goes with someone else who screws him and wants me to fiqure out how to help him! My husband goes with him to the other jeweler and at least was able to get the tax back and then he helped him get the jewelers insurance. OK great. Well the fiancee continues to email my sister about the wedding planning, her ideas, yada, yada. I get a phone call from my sis that the fiancee wants to speak with me re my band--who I picked, how much we spent, etc. I call her back - spend an hour on the phone at work, looking at sites with her online, going over bands I had heard..then the news hit like a brick... Well I am only having 1 bridesmaid - my MOH -- she is my friend, but she really is such a busy person so I don't know what she will be able to help me with.... What audacity!!!! How can she ask my sister and I for all this advice--let me not leave out that 2 days before she called my sister to go to a food tasting at a venue she was considering bc my brother was too busy working!--- and then not ask either one of us to be in the wedding party!?! My mother approached my brother about this and he said well she wants a small party and what do u want me to tell u- he is such a push over. He approached me and said well what do you want me to tell u -- I said you know its your wedding too..you could of had us on your side--well he said she only wants 1 person--too much hassle to have more than that--- and then it would be uneven I don;t even know who to pick as best man because I have 2 guys and she wants to keep it small.... Then last week I find out he is calling my mother to find out how much I spent on my gown...he is paying for the fiance's dress...he volunteered and I guess when she showed him a $5K dress, he flipped. That was after he approached my husband in church to ask how long the aisle in Church was because they are getting a runner like I had... that was it, I blew my top! Whose business is it how much I spent after she didn't have the decentsy to include either of us in her wedding!? My mom wants to pay for her shower bc her mom is in another state and won't be here..what crap is that I told my mom..she has sister in laws and the MOH she picked who is responsible for that. If she could not include us - why should we bend over backwards for her! Am I wrong for being annoyed? I had my future sister in law when I got married out of respect for my husband as well as a cousin who I am not that fond of out of respect for my grandmother and to keep the families close. I am more annoyed since she seems to email my sister for advice on everything - they have even gone out in the past--and she didn't put her in it! My parents are annoyed about me being disgruntled about the shower scenario.. Am I wrong in any of this?
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Bridal Party Problems? Theres a few problems with my Bridal party first of all our best man and maid of honour broke up recently and are nw going through a custody battle over our Flower girl, but they both say that their alright standing together, both my maid of honour and one of my bridesmaids (#2) seem to be making things hard because their very opinionated and keep giving me un-needed input. Bridesmaid #2 & usher #2 got married recently and her parents paid everything they had a big fancy wedding catered and everything. We want to keep ours simple and familys going to help with food but they don't seem to get that. Also the maid of honour and the new wife (bridesmaid) are planning my Bridal shower with 25 ppl which I've told them they can have at my house and I've done the invitations but the bridemaid doesnt seem to like that idea and wants to rent a hall and go all out without asking the rest of the bridal party if they agree and with the custody battle and everything I told them I would like to help I would like take off some of the finicial burden because they all have new babies, just got laid off and I don't want them to have to go over board for me. I don't see what the problem would be.
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You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 40. Everything on your face stays its original colour. 41. Chocolate is just another snack. 42. You can be president. 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 44. Flowers fix everything. 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 48. Three pair of shoes is more than enough. 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. 51. Foreplay is optional. 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. 56. You never feel compelled to stop a mate from getting laid. 57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 59. You can watch a game in silence with your mate for hours without even thinking. "He must be mad at me". 60. The world is your urinal. 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. 63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area. 64. One mood, all the time. 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 66. You never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just too scary. 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 69. Same work....more pay. 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. 72. Wedding Dress £1000; Tux rental £50. 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts. 76. If you retain water, it's in a bottle. 77. The remote is yours and yours alone. 78. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them. 79. Sky Sports News. 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. 81. Stag parties kick ass over bridal showers. 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 85. If you don't call your mate when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase "Fuck it!" 88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong mates. 89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary. 90. The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected. 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood. 92. You think the idea of kicking a small dog is funny. 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. 98. Your mates can be trusted never to trap you with: "So ...notice anything different?" 99. Baywatch 100. There is always a footy game on somewhere. bookworm - no! i had it emailed to me -from a female friend - obviously she, unlike you, possesses a sense of humour! i have asked her if it is offensive to women and she disagrees - ( i cant actually type on here what she said about you) so , sorry, if a female friend does not consider it to be offensive to women then neither do i. try geting a life.
I work 10-12 hours a day, and my wife refuses to do anything. ? I'm an aircraft maintainer in the USAF, and I work 10-12 hours a day fixing busted aircraft and hauling around huge heavy toolboxes. I deal with political BS, supervision BS, and people BS. My wife goes to college. That's fine. She goes to class from 11 AM to around 5 PM Mondays, Weds., and Fridays. I told her that as long as she's going to class, I'm fine with her not having a job. College is an investment. She seems to think it's some kind of free ticket, though. She cooks food and leaves the pot (full of leftover food) on the stove for two or three days before I have a chance to clean it up. Her computer/study room is full of dirty dishes and cups and old food. If I don't clean the kitchen, the floor gets covered in crumbs and dirt, because she never sweeps. If I don't vacuum, the carpet gets crap smashed into it. If I don't remind her to clean her cat's litterbox, the cat starts eliminating on the tile floor around the box. You get the idea. When she has to get out of bed to get ready for class, all she does is complain about how tired she is and how she doesn't want to get up. If I don't come in and turn on the lights and get the shower going for her she never gets out of bed. And if I ask her to do something, she'll do maybe half of what I asked her to do and leave the rest for me to finish while she goes back to messing around with her computer or reading books. If I try to take any free time to do anything I want to do, the house gets disgusting and she gets mad. If I try to sit her down and explain to her (in as nice a tone as I can) that I'd like for her to start helping around the house more, she gets upset and starts yelling. She thinks I'm telling her she's a bad wife and that she should 'just go kill herself' (her words, not mine). I don't know what to do, but I'm getting sick and tired of coming home after busting my ass just to bust my ass some more to clean a house soiled by her laziness and negligence. I shiver at the thought of what this place is going to turn into when I deploy.
what are some good food ideas for a wedding shower? my sisters wedding shower is coming up and me and her maid of honor our in charge of the food. what are some good things to make?? theres gonna be about 15 people there's probably gonna be more like 20-25. but I'm not sure
Annoyed! Am i wrong?!? Here we go.... I am so irritated and after searching this online and getting many answers I am still quite confused on whether what I am feeling is how I should feel. My brother is getting married to a girl who for the past 3 years has spent every holiday including her B-Day's at my mom's house. I am married and obviously always there for every occassion. Her parents live in another state and of her 2 brothers only 1 does she really speak with... we won't explain details here. We have treated her as one of the family, buying gifts and never leaving her out. This girl, who has spent every special occassion with us, of whom my family has opened their door to, decides to get on my brother's back about demanding a ring after he has been out of work for nearly 2 years and just started working. She sends her requests to my sister about the perfect 2 carat ring she desires - needs to be F color or better, needs to be 2 carats or better and nothing below a VS1 quality. She tells her to have me help him because I already went thru it. I take him no questions asked - spend 4 hours with him at my jeweler which I don't care about the time but then he goes with someone else who screws him and wants me to fiqure out how to help him! My husband goes with him to the other jeweler and at least was able to get the tax back and then he helped him get the jewelers insurance. OK great. Well the fiancee continues to email my sister about the wedding planning, her ideas, yada, yada. I get a phone call from my sis that the fiancee wants to speak with me re my band--who I picked, how much we spent, etc. I call her back - spend an hour on the phone at work, looking at sites with her online, going over bands I had heard..then the news hit like a brick... Well I am only having 1 bridesmaid - my MOH -- she is my friend, but she really is such a busy person so I don't know what she will be able to help me with.... What audacity!!!! How can she ask my sister and I for all this advice--let me not leave out that 2 days before she called my sister to go to a food tasting at a venue she was considering bc my brother was too busy working!--- and then not ask either one of us to be in the wedding party!?! My mother approached my brother about this and he said well she wants a small party and what do u want me to tell u- he is such a push over. He approached me and said well what do you want me to tell u -- I said you know its your wedding too..you could of had us on your side--well he said she only wants 1 person--too much hassle to have more than that--- and then it would be uneven I don;t even know who to pick as best man because I have 2 guys and she wants to keep it small.... Then last week I find out he is calling my mother to find out how much I spent on my gown...he is paying for the fiance's dress...he volunteered and I guess when she showed him a $5K dress, he flipped. That was after he approached my husband in church to ask how long the aisle in Church was because they are getting a runner like I had... that was it, I blew my top! Whose business is it how much I spent after she didn't have the decentsy to include either of us in her wedding!? My mom wants to pay for her shower bc her mom is in another state and won't be here..what crap is that I told my mom..she has sister in laws and the MOH she picked who is responsible for that. If she could not include us - why should we bend over backwards for her! Am I wrong for being annoyed? I had my future sister in law when I got married out of respect for my husband as well as a cousin who I am not that fond of out of respect for my grandmother and to keep the families close. I am more annoyed since she seems to email my sister for advice on everything - they have even gone out in the past--and she didn't put her in it! My parents are annoyed about me being disgruntled about the shower scenario.. Am I wrong in any of this?
Food for Wedding Shower? I'm putting on a wedding shower for my older sister. I don't want to serve the usual deli sandwiches. Do you have any suggestions or ideas on what I could serve along with any good recipes?
Wedding food and drink? I need some recipe ideas for food and drink for my upcoming May wedding and for the several showers that i am having. Any ideas for simple and cheap food and drinks would be very helpful. Thanks
i am planning a wedding shower. the wedding theme is 1920. any ideas??? what type of parties were back then. any special decorations?? any special games. i have the food list . it's a fall weding
Jack and Jill? I need help w/ideas for a jack and jill wedding shower, games, food, and i want to find a cake topper or atleast some figurines hell even some jack and jill toys will do. please help!!!
Poll: Did you like The Oddysey or The Iliad better? I liked the Iliad better. This was my favorite part: Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another. And which of the gods was it that set them on to quarrel? It was the son of Jove and Leto; for he was angry with the king and sent a pestilence upon the host to plague the people, because the son of Atreus had dishonoured Chryses his priest. Now Chryses had come to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and had brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo wreathed with a suppliant's wreath and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus, who were their chiefs. "Sons of Atreus," he cried, "and all other Achaeans, may the gods who dwell in Olympus grant you to sack the city of Priam, and to reach your homes in safety; but free my daughter, and accept a ransom for her, in reverence to Apollo, son of Jove." On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. "Old man," said he, "let me not find you tarrying about our ships, nor yet coming hereafter. Your sceptre of the god and your wreath shall profit you nothing. I will not free her. She shall grow old in my house at Argos far from her own home, busying herself with her loom and visiting my couch; so go, and do not provoke me or it shall be the worse for you." The old man feared him and obeyed. Not a word he spoke, but went by the shore of the sounding sea and prayed apart to King Apollo whom lovely Leto had borne. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla and rulest Tenedos with thy might, hear me oh thou of Sminthe. If I have ever decked your temple with garlands, or burned your thigh-bones in fat of bulls or goats, grant my prayer, and let your arrows avenge these my tears upon the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Olympus, with his bow and his quiver upon his shoulder, and the arrows rattled on his back with the rage that trembled within him. He sat himself down away from the ships with a face as dark as night, and his silver bow rang death as he shot his arrow in the midst of them. First he smote their mules and their hounds, but presently he aimed his shafts at the people themselves, and all day long the pyres of the dead were burning. For nine whole days he shot his arrows among the people, but upon the tenth day Achilles called them in assembly- moved thereto by Juno, who saw the Achaeans in their death-throes and had compassion upon them. Then, when they were got together, he rose and spoke among them. "Son of Atreus," said he, "I deem that we should now turn roving home if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by war and pestilence at once. Let us ask some priest or prophet, or some reader of dreams (for dreams, too, are of Jove) who can tell us why Phoebus Apollo is so angry, and say whether it is for some vow that we have broken, or hecatomb that we have not offered, and whether he will accept the savour of lambs and goats without blemish, so as to take away the plague from us." With these words he sat down, and Calchas son of Thestor, wisest of augurs, who knew things past present and to come, rose to speak. He it was who had guided the Achaeans with their fleet to Ilius, through the prophesyings with which Phoebus Apollo had inspired him. With all sincerity and goodwill he addressed them thus:- "Achilles, loved of heaven, you bid me tell you about the anger of King Apollo, I will therefore do so; but consider first and swear that you will stand by me heartily in word and deed, for I know that I shall offend one who rules the Argives with might, to whom all the Achaeans are in subjection. A plain man cannot stand against the anger of a king, who if he swallow his displeasure now, will yet nurse revenge till he has wreaked it. Consider, therefore, whether or no you will protect me." And Achilles answered, "Fear not, but speak as it is borne in upon you from heaven, for by Apollo, Calchas, to whom you pray, and whose oracles you reveal to us, not a Danaan at our ships shall lay his hand upon you, while I yet live to look upon the face of the earth- no, not though you name Agamemnon himself, who is by far the foremost of the Achaeans." Thereon the seer spoke boldly. "The god," he said, "is angry neither about vow nor hecatomb, but for his priest's sake, whom Agamemnon has dishonoured, in that he would not free his daughter nor take a ransom for her; therefore has he sent these evils upon us, and will yet send others. He will not deliver the Danaans from this pestilence till Agamemnon has restored the girl without fee or ransom to her father, and has sent a holy hecatomb to Chryse. Thus we may perhaps appease him." With these words he sat down, and Agamemnon rose in anger. His heart was black with rage, and his eyes flashed fire as he scowled on Calchas and said, "Seer of evil, you never yet prophesied smooth things concerning me, but have ever loved to foretell that which was evil. You have brought me neither comfort nor performance; and now you come seeing among Danaans, and saying that Apollo has plagued us because I would not take a ransom for this girl, the daughter of Chryses. I have set my heart on keeping her in my own house, for I love her better even than my own wife Clytemnestra, whose peer she is alike in form and feature, in understanding and accomplishments. Still I will give her up if I must, for I would have the people live, not die; but you must find me a prize instead, or I alone among the Argives shall be without one. This is not well; for you behold, all of you, that my prize is to go elsewhither." And Achilles answered, "Most noble son of Atreus, covetous beyond all mankind, how shall the Achaeans find you another prize? We have no common store from which to take one. Those we took from the cities have been awarded; we cannot disallow the awards that have been made already. Give this girl, therefore, to the god, and if ever Jove grants us to sack the city of Troy we will requite you three and fourfold." Then Agamemnon said, "Achilles, valiant though you be, you shall not thus outwit me. You shall not overreach and you shall not persuade me. Are you to keep your own prize, while I sit tamely under my loss and give up the girl at your bidding? Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming. But of this we will take thought hereafter; for the present, let us draw a ship into the sea, and find a crew for her expressly; let us put a hecatomb on board, and let us send Chryseis also; further, let some chief man among us be in command, either Ajax, or Idomeneus, or yourself, son of Peleus, mighty warrior that you are, that we may offer sacrifice and appease the the anger of the god." Achilles scowled at him and answered, "You are steeped in insolence and lust of gain. With what heart can any of the Achaeans do your bidding, either on foray or in open fighting? I came not warring here for any ill the Trojans had done me. I have no quarrel with them. They have not raided my cattle nor my horses, nor cut down my harvests on the rich plains of Phthia; for between me and them there is a great space, both mountain and sounding sea. We have followed you, Sir Insolence! for your pleasure, not ours- to gain satisfaction from the Trojans for your shameless self and for Menelaus. You forget this, and threaten to rob me of the prize for which I have toiled, and which the sons of the Achaeans have given me. Never when the Achaeans sack any rich city of the Trojans do I receive so good a prize as you do, though it is my hands that do the better part of the fighting. When the sharing comes, your share is far the largest, and I, forsooth, must go back to my ships, take what I can get and be thankful, when my labour of fighting is done. Now, therefore, I shall go back to Phthia; it will be much better for me to return home with my ships, for I will not stay here dishonoured to gather gold and substance for you." And Agamemnon answered, "Fly if you will, I shall make you no prayers to stay you. I have others here who will do me honour, and above all Jove, the lord of counsel. There is no king here so hateful to me as you are, for you are ever quarrelsome and ill affected. What though you be brave? Was it not heaven that made you so? Go home, then, with your ships and comrades to lord it over the Myrmidons. I care neither for you nor for your anger; and thus will I do: since Phoebus Apollo is taking Chryseis from me, I shall send her with my ship and my followers, but I shall come to your tent and take your own prize Briseis, that you may learn how much stronger I am than you are, and that another may fear to set himself up as equal or comparable with me." The son of Peleus was furious, and his heart within his shaggy breast was divided whether to draw his sword, push the others aside, and kill the son of Atreus, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was drawing his mighty sword from its scabbard, Minerva came down from heaven (for Juno had sent her in the love she bore to them both), and seized the son of Peleus by his yellow hair, visible to him alone, for of the others no man could see her. Achilles turned in amaze, and by the fire that flashed from her eyes at once knew that she was Minerva. "Why are you here," said he, "daughter of aegis-bearing Jove? To see the pride of Agamemnon, son of Atreus? Let me tell you- and it shall surely be- he shall pay for this insolence with his life." And Minerva said, "I come from heaven, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your anger. Juno has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not draw your sword; rail at him if you will, and your railing will not be vain, for I tell you- and it shall surely be- that you shall hereafter receive gifts three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey." "Goddess," answered Achilles, "however angry a man may be, he must do as you two command him. This will be best, for the gods ever hear the prayers of him who has obeyed them." He stayed his hand on the silver hilt of his sword, and thrust it back into the scabbard as Minerva bade him. Then she went back to Olympus among the other gods, and to the house of aegis-bearing Jove. But the son of Peleus again began railing at the son of Atreus, for he was still in a rage. "Wine-bibber," he cried, "with the face of a dog and the heart of a hind, you never dare to go out with the host in fight, nor yet with our chosen men in ambuscade. You shun this as you do death itself. You had rather go round and rob his prizes from any man who contradicts you. You devour your people, for you are king over a feeble folk; otherwise, son of Atreus, henceforward you would insult no man. Therefore I say, and swear it with a great oath- nay, by this my sceptre which shalt sprout neither leaf nor shoot, nor bud anew from the day on which it left its parent stem upon the mountains- for the axe stripped it of leaf and bark, and now the sons of the Achaeans bear it as judges and guardians of the decrees of heaven- so surely and solemnly do I swear that hereafter they shall look fondly for Achilles and shall not find him. In the day of your distress, when your men fall dying by the murderous hand of Hector, you shall not know how to help them, and shall rend your heart with rage for the hour when you offered insult to the bravest of the Achaeans." With this the son of Peleus dashed his gold-bestudded sceptre on the ground and took his seat, while the son of Atreus was beginning fiercely from his place upon the other side. Then uprose smooth-tongued Nestor, the facile speaker of the Pylians, and the words fell from his lips sweeter than honey. Two generations of men born and bred in Pylos had passed away under his rule, and he was now reigning over the third. With all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he addressed them thus:- "Of a truth," he said, "a great sorrow has befallen the Achaean land. Surely Priam with his sons would rejoice, and the Trojans be glad at heart if they could hear this quarrel between you two, who are so excellent in fight and counsel. I am older than either of you; therefore be guided by me. Moreover I have been the familiar friend of men even greater than you are, and they did not disregard my counsels. Never again can I behold such men as Pirithous and Dryas shepherd of his people, or as Caeneus, Exadius, godlike Polyphemus, and Theseus son of Aegeus, peer of the immortals. These were the mightiest men ever born upon this earth: mightiest were they, and when they fought the fiercest tribes of mountain savages they utterly overthrew them. I came from distant Pylos, and went about among them, for they would have me come, and I fought as it was in me to do. Not a man now living could withstand them, but they heard my words, and were persuaded by them. So be it also with yourselves, for this is the more excellent way. Therefore, Agamemnon, though you be strong, take not this girl away, for the sons of the Achaeans have already given her to Achilles; and you, Achilles, strive not further with the king, for no man who by the grace of Jove wields a sceptre has like honour with Agamemnon. You are strong, and have a goddess for your mother; but Agamemnon is stronger than you, for he has more people under him. Son of Atreus, check your anger, I implore you; end this quarrel with Achilles, who in the day of battle is a tower of strength to the Achaeans." And Agamemnon answered, "Sir, all that you have said is true, but this fellow must needs become our lord and master: he must be lord of all, king of all, and captain of all, and this shall hardly be. Granted that the gods have made him a great warrior, have they also given him the right to speak with railing?" Achilles interrupted him. "I should be a mean coward," he cried, "were I to give in to you in all things. Order other people about, not me, for I shall obey no longer. Furthermore I say- and lay my saying to your heart- I shall fight neither you nor any man about this girl, for those that take were those also that gave. But of all else that is at my ship you shall carry away nothing by force. Try, that others may see; if you do, my spear shall be reddened with your blood." When they had quarrelled thus angrily, they rose, and broke up the assembly at the ships of the Achaeans. The son of Peleus went back to his tents and ships with the son of Menoetius and his company, while Agamemnon drew a vessel into the water and chose a crew of twenty oarsmen. He escorted Chryseis on board and sent moreover a hecatomb for the god. And Ulysses went as captain. These, then, went on board and sailed their ways over the sea. But the son of Atreus bade the people purify themselves; so they purified themselves and cast their filth into the sea. Then they offered hecatombs of bulls and goats without blemish on the sea-shore, and the smoke with the savour of their sacrifice rose curling up towards heaven. Thus did they busy themselves throughout the host. But Agamemnon did not forget the threat that he had made Achilles, and called his trusty messengers and squires Talthybius and Eurybates. "Go," said he, "to the tent of Achilles, son of Peleus; take Briseis by the hand and bring her hither; if he will not give her I shall come with others and take her- which will press him harder." He charged them straightly further and dismissed them, whereon they went their way sorrowfully by the seaside, till they came to the tents and ships of the Myrmidons. They found Achilles sitting by his tent and his ships, and ill-pleased he was when he beheld them. They stood fearfully and reverently before him, and never a word did they speak, but he knew them and said, "Welcome, heralds, messengers of gods and men; draw near; my quarrel is not with you but with Agamemnon who has sent you for the girl Briseis. Therefore, Patroclus, bring her and give her to them, but let them be witnesses by the blessed gods, by mortal men, and by the fierceness of Agamemnon's anger, that if ever again there be need of me to save the people from ruin, they shall seek and they shall not find. Agamemnon is mad with rage and knows not how to look before and after that the Achaeans may fight by their ships in safety." Patroclus did as his dear comrade had bidden him. He brought Briseis from the tent and gave her over to the heralds, who took her with them to the ships of the Achaeans- and the woman was loth to go. Then Achilles went all alone by the side of the hoar sea, weeping and looking out upon the boundless waste of waters. He raised his hands in prayer to his immortal mother, "Mother," he cried, "you bore me doomed to live but for a little season; surely Jove, who thunders from Olympus, might have made that little glorious. It is not so. Agamemnon, son of Atreus, has done me dishonour, and has robbed me of my prize by force." As he spoke he wept aloud, and his mother heard him where she was sitting in the depths of the sea hard by the old man her father. Forthwith she rose as it were a grey mist out of the waves, sat down before him as he stood weeping, caressed him with her hand, and said, "My son, why are you weeping? What is it that grieves you? Keep it not from me, but tell me, that we may know it together." Achilles drew a deep sigh and said, "You know it; why tell you what you know well already? We went to Thebe the strong city of Eetion, sacked it, and brought hither the spoil. The sons of the Achaeans shared it duly among themselves, and chose lovely Chryseis as the meed of Agamemnon; but Chryses, priest of Apollo, came to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo, wreathed with a suppliant's wreath, and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus who were their chiefs. "On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. So he went back in anger, and Apollo, who loved him dearly, heard his prayer. Then the god sent a deadly dart upon the Argives, and the people died thick on one another, for the arrows went everywhither among the wide host of the Achaeans. At last a seer in the fulness of his knowledge declared to us the oracles of Apollo, and I was myself first to say that we should appease him. Whereon the son of Atreus rose in anger, and threatened that which he has since done. The Achaeans are now taking the girl in a ship to Chryse, and sending gifts of sacrifice to the god; but the heralds have just taken from my tent the daughter of Briseus, whom the Achaeans had awarded to myself. "Help your brave son, therefore, if you are able. Go to Olympus, and if you have ever done him service in word or deed, implore the aid of Jove. Ofttimes in my father's house have I heard you glory in that you alone of the immortals saved the son of Saturn from ruin, when the others, with Juno, Neptune, and Pallas Minerva would have put him in bonds. It was you, goddess, who delivered him by calling to Olympus the hundred-handed monster whom gods call Briareus, but men Aegaeon, for he is stronger even than his father; when therefore he took his seat all-glorious beside the son of Saturn, the other gods were afraid, and did not bind him. Go, then, to him, remind him of all this, clasp his knees, and bid him give succour to the Trojans. Let the Achaeans be hemmed in at the sterns of their ships, and perish on the sea-shore, that they may reap what joy they may of their king, and that Agamemnon may rue his blindness in offering insult to the foremost of the Achaeans." Thetis wept and answered, "My son, woe is me that I should have borne or suckled you. Would indeed that you had lived your span free from all sorrow at your ships, for it is all too brief; alas, that you should be at once short of life and long of sorrow above your peers: woe, therefore, was the hour in which I bore you; nevertheless I will go to the snowy heights of Olympus, and tell this tale to Jove, if he will hear our prayer: meanwhile stay where you are with your ships, nurse your anger against the Achaeans, and hold aloof from fight. For Jove went yesterday to Oceanus, to a feast among the Ethiopians, and the other gods went with him. He will return to Olympus twelve days hence; I will then go to his mansion paved with bronze and will beseech him; nor do I doubt that I shall be able to persuade him." On this she left him, still furious at the loss of her that had been taken from him. Meanwhile Ulysses reached Chryse with the hecatomb. When they had come inside the harbour they furled the sails and laid them in the ship's hold; they slackened the forestays, lowered the mast into its place, and rowed the ship to the place where they would have her lie; there they cast out their mooring-stones and made fast the hawsers. They then got out upon the sea-shore and landed the hecatomb for Apollo; Chryseis also left the ship, and Ulysses led her to the altar to deliver her into the hands of her father. "Chryses," said he, "King Agamemnon has sent me to bring you back your child, and to offer sacrifice to Apollo on behalf of the Danaans, that we may propitiate the god, who has now brought sorrow upon the Argives." So saying he gave the girl over to her father, who received her gladly, and they ranged the holy hecatomb all orderly round the altar of the god. They washed their hands and took up the barley-meal to sprinkle over the victims, while Chryses lifted up his hands and prayed aloud on their behalf. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla, and rulest Tenedos with thy might. Even as thou didst hear me aforetime when I prayed, and didst press hardly upon the Achaeans, so hear me yet again, and stay this fearful pestilence from the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal, they drew back the heads of the victims and killed and flayed them. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, set some pieces of raw meat on the top of them, and then Chryses laid them on the wood fire and poured wine over them, while the young men stood near him with five-pronged spits in their hands. When the thigh-bones were burned and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon the spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off: then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, pages filled the mixing-bowl with wine and water and handed it round, after giving every man his drink-offering. Thus all day long the young men worshipped the god with song, hymning him and chaunting the joyous paean, and the god took pleasure in their voices; but when the sun went down, and it came on dark, they laid themselves down to sleep by the stern cables of the ship, and when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared they again set sail for the host of the Achaeans. Apollo sent them a fair wind, so they raised their mast and hoisted their white sails aloft. As the sail bellied with the wind the ship flew through the deep blue water, and the foam hissed against her bows as she sped onward. When they reached the wide-stretching host of the Achaeans, they drew the vessel ashore, high and dry upon the sands, set her strong props beneath her, and went their ways to their own tents and ships. But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry. Now after twelve days the immortal gods came back in a body to Olympus, and Jove led the way. Thetis was not unmindful of the charge her son had laid upon her, so she rose from under the sea and went through great heaven with early morning to Olympus, where she found the mighty son of Saturn sitting all alone upon its topmost ridges. She sat herself down before him, and with her left hand seized his knees, while with her right she caught him under the chin, and besought him, saying- "Father Jove, if I ever did you service in word or deed among the immortals, hear my prayer, and do honour to my son, whose life is to be cut short so early. King Agamemnon has dishonoured him by taking his prize and keeping her. Honour him then yourself, Olympian lord of counsel, and grant victory to the Trojans, till the Achaeans give my son his due and load him with riches in requital." Jove sat for a while silent, and without a word, but Thetis still kept firm hold of his knees, and besought him a second time. "Incline your head," said she, "and promise me surely, or else deny me- for you have nothing to fear- that I may learn how greatly you disdain me." At this Jove was much troubled and answered, "I shall have trouble if you set me quarrelling with Juno, for she will provoke me with her taunting speeches; even now she is always railing at me before the other gods and accusing me of giving aid to the Trojans. Go back now, lest she should find out. I will consider the matter, and will bring it about as wish. See, I incline my head that you believe me. This is the most solemn that I can give to any god. I never recall my word, or deceive, or fail to do what I say, when I have nodded my head." As he spoke the son of Saturn bowed his dark brows, and the ambrosial locks swayed on his immortal head, till vast Olympus reeled. When the pair had thus laid their plans, they parted- Jove to his house, while the goddess quitted the splendour of Olympus, and plunged into the depths of the sea. The gods rose from their seats, before the coming of their sire. Not one of them dared to remain sitting, but all stood up as he came among them. There, then, he took his seat. But Juno, when she saw him, knew that he and the old merman's daughter, silver-footed Thetis, had been hatching mischief, so she at once began to upbraid him. "Trickster," she cried, "which of the gods have you been taking into your counsels now? You are always settling matters in secret behind my back, and have never yet told me, if you could help it, one word of your intentions." "Juno," replied the sire of gods and men, "you must not expect to be informed of all my counsels. You are my wife, but you would find it hard to understand them. When it is proper for you to hear, there is no one, god or man, who will be told sooner, but when I mean to keep a matter to myself, you must not pry nor ask questions." "Dread son of Saturn," answered Juno, "what are you talking about? I? Pry and ask questions? Never. I let you have your own way in everything. Still, I have a strong misgiving that the old merman's daughter Thetis has been talking you over, for she was with you and had hold of your knees this self-same morning. I believe, therefore, that you have been promising her to give glory to Achilles, and to kill much people at the ships of the Achaeans." "Wife," said Jove, "I can do nothing but you suspect me and find it out. You will take nothing by it, for I shall only dislike you the more, and it will go harder with you. Granted that it is as you say; I mean to have it so; sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing." On this Juno was frightened, so she curbed her stubborn will and sat down in silence. But the heavenly beings were disquieted throughout the house of Jove, till the cunning workman Vulcan began to try and pacify his mother Juno. "It will be intolerable," said he, "if you two fall to wrangling and setting heaven in an uproar about a pack of mortals. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall have no pleasure at our banquet. Let me then advise my mother- and she must herself know that it will be better- to make friends with my dear father Jove, lest he again scold her and disturb our feast. If the Olympian Thunderer wants to hurl us all from our seats, he can do so, for he is far the strongest, so give him fair words, and he will then soon be in a good humour with us." As he spoke, he took a double cup of nectar, and placed it in his mother's hand. "Cheer up, my dear mother," said he, "and make the best of it. I love you dearly, and should be very sorry to see you get a thrashing; however grieved I might be, I could not help for there is no standing against Jove. Once before when I was trying to help you, he caught me by the foot and flung me from the heavenly threshold. All day long from morn till eve, was I falling, till at sunset I came to ground in the island of Lemnos, and there I lay, with very little life left in me, till the Sintians came and tended me." Juno smiled at this, and as she smiled she took the cup from her son's hands. Then Vulcan drew sweet nectar from the mixing-bowl, and served it round among the gods, going from left to right; and the blessed gods laughed out a loud applause as they saw him ing bustling about the heavenly mansion. Thus through the livelong day to the going down of the sun they feasted, and every one had his full share, so that all were satisfied. Apollo struck his lyre, and the Muses lifted up their sweet voices, calling and answering one another. But when the sun's glorious light had faded, they went home to bed, each in his own abode, which lame Vulcan with his consummate skill had fashioned for them. So Jove, the Olympian Lord of Thunder, hied him to the bed in which he always slept; and when he had got on to it he went to sleep, with Juno of the golden throne by his side. Now the other gods and the armed warriors on the plain slept soundly, but Jove was wakeful, for he was thinking how to do honour to Achilles, and destroyed much people at the ships of the Achaeans. In the end he deemed it would be best to send a lying dream to King Agamemnon; so he called one to him and said to it, "Lying Dream, go to the ships of the Achaeans, into the tent of Agamemnon, and say to him word to word as I now bid you. Tell him to get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for he shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans." The dream went when it had heard its message, and soon reached the ships of the Achaeans. It sought Agamemnon son of Atreus and found him in his tent, wrapped in a profound slumber. It hovered over his head in the likeness of Nestor, son of Neleus, whom Agamemnon honoured above all his councillors, and said:- "You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I come as a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this, and when you wake see that it does not escape you." The dream then left him, and he thought of things that were, surely not to be accomplished. He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans. Then presently he woke, with the divine message still ringing in his ears; so he sat upright, and put on his soft shirt so fair and new, and over this his heavy cloak. He bound his sandals on to his comely feet, and slung his silver-studded sword about his shoulders; then he took the imperishable staff of his father, and sallied forth to the ships of the Achaeans. The goddess Dawn now wended her way to vast Olympus that she might herald day to Jove and to the other immortals, and Agamemnon sent the criers round to call the people in assembly; so they called them and the people gathered thereon. But first he summoned a meeting of the elders at the ship of Nestor king of Pylos, and when they were assembled he laid a cunning counsel before them. "My friends," said he, "I have had a dream from heaven in the dead of night, and its face and figure resembled none but Nestor's. It hovered over my head and said, 'You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I am a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this.' The dream then vanished and I awoke. Let us now, therefore, arm the sons of the Achaeans. But it will be well that I should first sound them, and to this end I will tell them to fly with their ships; but do you others go about among the host and prevent their doing so." He then sat down, and Nestor the prince of Pylos with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus: "My friends," said he, "princes and councillors of the Argives, if any other man of the Achaeans had told us of this dream we should have declared it false, and would have had nothing to do with it. But he who has seen it is the foremost man among us; we must therefore set about getting the people under arms." With this he led the way from the assembly, and the other sceptred kings rose with him in obedience to the word of Agamemnon; but the people pressed forward to hear. They swarmed like bees that sally from some hollow cave and flit in countless throng among the spring flowers, bunched in knots and clusters; even so did the mighty multitude pour from ships and tents to the assembly, and range themselves upon the wide-watered shore, while among them ran Wildfire Rumour, messenger of Jove, urging them ever to the fore. Thus they gathered in a pell-mell of mad confusion, and the earth groaned under the tramp of men as the people sought their places. Nine heralds went crying about among them to stay their tumult and bid them listen to the kings, till at last they were got into their several places and ceased their clamour. Then King Agamemnon rose, holding his sceptre. This was the work of Vulcan, who gave it to Jove the son of Saturn. Jove gave it to Mercury, slayer of Argus, guide and guardian. King Mercury gave it to Pelops, the mighty charioteer, and Pelops to Atreus, shepherd of his people. Atreus, when he died, left it to Thyestes, rich in flocks, and Thyestes in his turn left it to be borne by Agamemnon, that he might be lord of all Argos and of the isles. Leaning, then, on his sceptre, he addressed the Argives. "My friends," he said, "heroes, servants of Mars, the hand of heaven has been laid heavily upon me. Cruel Jove gave me his solemn promise that I should sack the city of Priam before returning, but he has played me false, and is now bidding me go ingloriously back to Argos with the loss of much people. Such is the will of Jove, who has laid many a proud city in the dust, as he will yet lay others, for his power is above all. It will be a sorry tale hereafter that an Achaean host, at once so great and valiant, battled in vain against men fewer in number than themselves; but as yet the end is not in sight. Think that the Achaeans and Trojans have sworn to a solemn covenant, and that they have each been numbered- the Trojans by the roll of their householders, and we by companies of ten; think further that each of our companies desired to have a Trojan householder to pour out their wine; we are so greatly more in number that full many a company would have to go without its cup-bearer. But they have in the town allies from other places, and it is these that hinder me from being able to sack the rich city of Ilius. Nine of Jove years are gone; the timbers of our ships have rotted; their tackling is sound no longer. Our wives and little ones at home look anxiously for our coming, but the work that we came hither to do has not been done. Now, therefore, let us all do as I say: let us sail back to our own land, for we shall not take Troy." With these words he moved the hearts of the multitude, so many of them as knew not the cunning counsel of Agamemnon. They surged to and fro like the waves of the Icarian Sea, when the east and south winds break from heaven's clouds to lash them; or as when the west wind sweeps over a field of corn and the ears bow beneath the blast, even so were they swayed as they flew with loud cries towards the ships, and the dust from under their feet rose heavenward. They cheered each other on to draw the ships into the sea; they cleared the channels in front of them; they began taking away the stays from underneath them, and the welkin rang with their glad cries, so eager were they to return. Then surely the Argives would have returned after a fashion that was not fated. But Juno said to Minerva, "Alas, daughter of aegis-bearing Jove, unweariable, shall the Argives fly home to their own land over the broad sea, and leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Minerva was not slack to do her bidding. Down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus, and in a moment she was at the ships of the Achaeans. There she found Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, standing alone. He had not as yet laid a hand upon his ship, for he was grieved and sorry; so she went close up to him and said, "Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, are you going to fling yourselves into your ships and be off home to your own land in this way? Will you leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Ulysses knew the voice as that of the goddess: he flung his cloak from him and set off to run. His servant Eurybates, a man of Ithaca, who waited on him, took charge of the cloak, whereon Ulysses went straight up to Agamemnon and received from him his ancestral, imperishable staff. With this he went about among the ships of the Achaeans. Whenever he met a king or chieftain, he stood by him and spoke him fairly. "Sir," said he, "this flight is cowardly and unworthy. Stand to your post, and bid your people also keep their places. You do not yet know the full mind of Agamemnon; he was sounding us, and ere long will visit the Achaeans with his displeasure. We were not all of us at the council to hear what he then said; see to it lest he be angry and do us a mischief; for the pride of kings is great, and the hand of Jove is with them." But when he came across any common man who was making a noise, he struck him with his staff and rebuked him, saying, "Sirrah, hold your peace, and listen to better men than yourself. You are a coward and no soldier; you are nobody either in fight or council; we cannot all be kings; it is not well that there should be many masters; one man must be supreme- one king to whom the son of scheming Saturn has given the sceptre of sovereignty over you all." Thus masterfully did he go about among the host, and the people hurried back to the council from their tents and ships with a sound as the thunder of surf when it comes crashing down upon the shore, and all the sea is in an uproar. The rest now took their seats and kept to their own several places, but Thersites still went on wagging his unbridled tongue- a man of many words, and those unseemly; a monger of sedition, a railer against all who were in authority, who cared not what he said, so that he might set the Achaeans in a laugh. He was the ugliest man of all those that came before Troy- bandy-legged, lame of one foot, with his two shoulders rounded and hunched over his chest. His head ran up to a point, but there was little hair on the top of it. Achilles and Ulysses hated him worst of all, for it was with them that he was most wont to wrangle; now, however, with a shrill squeaky voice he began heaping his abuse on Agamemnon. The Achaeans were angry and disgusted, yet none the less he kept on brawling and bawling at the son of Atreus. "Agamemnon," he cried, "what ails you now, and what more do you want? Your tents are filled with bronze and with fair women, for whenever we take a town we give you the pick of them. Would you have yet more gold, which some Trojan is to give you as a ransom for his son, when I or another Achaean has taken him prisoner? or is it some young girl to hide and lie with? It is not well that you, the ruler of the Achaeans, should bring them into such misery. Weakling cowards, women rather than men, let us sail home, and leave this fellow here at Troy to stew in his own meeds of honour, and discover whether we were of any service to him or no. Achilles is a much better man than he is, and see how he has treated him- robbing him of his prize and keeping it himself. Achilles takes it meekly and shows no fight; if he did, son of Atreus, you would never again insult him." Thus railed Thersites, but Ulysses at once went up to him and rebuked him sternly. "Check your glib tongue, Thersites," said be, "and babble not a word further. Chide not with princes when you have none to back you. There is no viler creature come before Troy with the sons of Atreus. Drop this chatter about kings, and neither revile them nor keep harping about going home. We do not yet know how things are going to be, nor whether the Achaeans are to return with good success or evil. How dare you gibe at Agamemnon because the Danaans have awarded him so many prizes? I tell you, therefore- and it shall surely be- that if I again catch you talking such nonsense, I will either forfeit my own head and be no more called father of Telemachus, or I will take you, strip you stark naked, and whip you out of the assembly till you go blubbering back to the ships." On this he beat him with his staff about the back and shoulders till he dropped and fell a-weeping. The golden sceptre raised a bloody weal on his back, so he sat down frightened and in pain, looking foolish as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The people were sorry for him, yet they laughed heartily, and one would turn to his neighbour saying, "Ulysses has done many a good thing ere now in fight and council, but he never did the Argives a better turn than when he stopped this fellow's mouth from prating further. He will give the kings no more of his insolence." Thus said the people. Then Ulysses rose, sceptre in hand, and Minerva in the likeness of a herald bade the people be still, that those who were far off might hear him and consider his council. He therefore with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus:- "King Agamemnon, the Achaeans are for making you a by-word among all mankind. They forget the promise they made you when they set out from Argos, that you should not return till you had sacked the town of Troy, and, like children or widowed women, they murmur and would set off homeward. True it is that they have had toil enough to be disheartened. A man chafes at having to stay away from his wife even for a single month, when he is on shipboard, at the mercy of wind and sea, but it is now nine long years that we have been kept here; I cannot, therefore, blame the Achaeans if they turn restive; still we shall be shamed if we go home empty after so long a stay- therefore, my friends, be patient yet a little longer that we may learn whether the prophesyings of Calchas were false or true. "All who have not since perished must remember as though it were yesterday or the day before, how the ships of the Achaeans were detained in Aulis when we were on our way hither to make war on Priam and the Trojans. We were ranged round about a fountain offering hecatombs to the gods upon their holy altars, and there was a fine plane-tree from beneath which there welled a stream of pure water. Then we saw a prodigy; for Jove sent a fearful serpent out of the ground, with blood-red stains upon its back, and it darted from under the altar on to the plane-tree. Now there was a brood of young sparrows, quite small, upon the topmost bough, peeping out from under the leaves, eight in all, and their mother that hatched them made nine. The serpent ate the poor cheeping things, while the old bird flew about lamenting her little ones; but the serpent threw his coils about her and caught her by the wing as she was screaming. Then, when he had eaten both the sparrow and her young, the god who had sent him made him become a sign; for the son of scheming Saturn turned him into stone, and we stood there wondering at that which had come to pass. Seeing, then, that such a fearful portent had broken in upon our hecatombs, Calchas forthwith declared to us the oracles of heaven. 'Why, Achaeans,' said he, 'are you thus speechless? Jove has sent us this sign, long in coming, and long ere it be fulfilled, though its fame shall last for ever. As the serpent ate the eight fledglings and the sparrow that hatched them, which makes nine, so shall we fight nine years at Troy, but in the tenth shall take the town.' This was what he said, and now it is all coming true. Stay here, therefore, all of you, till we take the city of Priam." On this the Argives raised a shout, till the ships rang again with the uproar. Nestor, knight of Gerene, then addressed them. "Shame on you," he cried, "to stay talking here like children, when you should fight like men. Where are our covenants now, and where the oaths that we have taken? Shall our counsels be flung into the fire, with our drink-offerings and the right hands of fellowship wherein we have put our trust? We waste our time in words, and for all our talking here shall be no further forward. Stand, therefore, son of Atreus, by your own steadfast purpose; lead the Argives on to battle, and leave this handful of men to rot, who scheme, and scheme in vain, to get back to Argos ere they have learned whether Jove be true or a liar. For the mighty son of Saturn surely promised that we should succeed, when we Argives set sail to bring death and destruction upon the Trojans. He showed us favourable signs by flashing his lightning on our right hands; therefore let none make haste to go till he has first lain with the wife of some Trojan, and avenged the toil and sorrow that he has suffered for the sake of Helen. Nevertheless, if any man is in such haste to be at home again, let him lay his hand to his ship that he may meet his doom in the sight of all. But, O king, consider and give ear to my counsel, for the word that I say may not be neglected lightly. Divide your men, Agamemnon, into their several tribes and clans, that clans and tribes may stand by and help one another. If you do this, and if the Achaeans obey you, you will find out who, both chiefs and peoples, are brave, and who are cowards; for they will vie against the other. Thus you shall also learn whether it is through the counsel of heaven or the cowardice of man that you shall fail to take the town." And Agamemnon answered, "Nestor, you have again outdone the sons of the Achaeans in counsel. Would, by Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, that I had among them ten more such councillors, for the city of King Priam would then soon fall beneath our hands, and we should sack it. But the son of Saturn afflicts me with bootless wranglings and strife. Achilles and I are quarrelling about this girl, in which matter I was the first to offend; if we can be of one mind again, the Trojans will not stave off destruction for a day. Now, therefore, get your morning meal, that our hosts join in fight. Whet well your spears; see well to the ordering of your shields; give good feeds to your horses, and look your chariots carefully over, that we may do battle the livelong day; for we shall have no rest, not for a moment, till night falls to part us. The bands that bear your shields shall be wet with the sweat upon your shoulders, your hands shall weary upon your spears, your horses shall steam in front of your chariots, and if I see any man shirking the fight, or trying to keep out of it at the ships, there shall be no help for him, but he shall be a prey to dogs and vultures." Thus he spoke, and the Achaeans roared applause. As when the waves run high before the blast of the south wind and break on some lofty headland, dashing against it and buffeting it without ceasing, as the storms from every quarter drive them, even so did the Achaeans rise and hurry in all directions to their ships. There they lighted their fires at their tents and got dinner, offering sacrifice every man to one or other of the gods, and praying each one of them that he might live to come out of the fight. Agamemnon, king of men, sacrificed a fat five-year-old bull to the mighty son of Saturn, and invited the princes and elders of his host. First he asked Nestor and King Idomeneus, then the two Ajaxes and the son of Tydeus, and sixthly Ulysses, peer of gods in counsel; but Menelaus came of his own accord, for he knew how busy his brother then was. They stood round the bull with the barley-meal in their hands, and Agamemnon prayed, saying, "Jove, most glorious, supreme, that dwellest in heaven, and ridest upon the storm-cloud, grant that the sun may not go down, nor the night fall, till the palace of Priam is laid low, and its gates are consumed with fire. Grant that my sword may pierce the shirt of Hector about his heart, and that full many of his comrades may bite the dust as they fall dying round him." Thus he prayed, but the son of Saturn would not fulfil his prayer. He accepted the sacrifice, yet none the less increased their toil continually. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal upon the victim, they drew back its head, killed it, and then flayed it. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, and set pieces of raw meat on the top of them. These they burned upon the split logs of firewood, but they spitted the inward meats, and held them in the flames to cook. When the thigh-bones were burned, and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off; then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, Nestor, knight of Gerene, began to speak. "King Agamemnon," said he, "let us not stay talking here, nor be slack in the work that heaven has put into our hands. Let the heralds summon the people to gather at their several ships; we will then go about among the host, that we may begin fighting at once." Thus did he speak, and Agamemnon heeded his words. He at once sent the criers round to call the people in assembly. So they called them, and the people gathered thereon. The chiefs about the son of Atreus chose their men and marshalled them, while Minerva went among them holding her priceless aegis that knows neither age nor death. From it there waved a hundred tassels of pure gold, all deftly woven, and each one of them worth a hundred oxen. With this she darted furiously everywhere among the hosts of the Achaeans, urging them forward, and putting courage into the heart of each, so that he might fight and do battle without ceasing. Thus war became sweeter in their eyes even than returning home in their ships. As when some great forest fire is raging upon a mountain top and its light is seen afar, even so as they marched the gleam of their armour flashed up into the firmament of heaven. They were like great flocks of geese, or cranes, or swans on the plain about the waters of Cayster, that wing their way hither and thither, glorying in the pride of flight, and crying as they settle till the fen is alive with their screaming. Even thus did their tribes pour from ships and tents on to the plain of the Scamander, and the ground rang as brass under the feet of men and horses. They stood as thick upon the flower-bespangled field as leaves that bloom in summer. As countless swarms of flies buzz around a herdsman's homestead in the time of spring when the pails are drenched with milk, even so did the Achaeans swarm on to the plain to charge the Trojans and destroy them. The chiefs disposed their men this way and that before the fight began, drafting them out as easily as goatherds draft their flocks when they have got mixed while feeding; and among them went King Agamemnon, with a head and face like Jove the lord of thunder, a waist like Mars, and a chest like that of Neptune. As some great bull that lords it over the herds upon the plain, even so did Jove make the son of Atreus stand peerless among the multitude of heroes. And now, O Muses, dwellers in the mansions of Olympus, tell me- for you are goddesses and are in all places so that you see all things, while we know nothing but by report- who were the chiefs and princes of the Danaans? As for the common soldiers, they were so that I could not name every single one of them though I had ten tongues, and though my voice failed not and my heart were of bronze within me, unless you, O Olympian Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, were to recount them to me. Nevertheless, I will tell the captains of the ships and all the fleet together. Peneleos, Leitus, Arcesilaus, Prothoenor, and Clonius were captains of the Boeotians. These were they that dwelt in Hyria and rocky Aulis, and who held Schoenus, Scolus, and the highlands of Eteonus, with Thespeia, Graia, and the fair city of Mycalessus. They also held Harma, Eilesium, and Erythrae; and they had Eleon, Hyle, and Peteon; Ocalea and the strong fortress of Medeon; Copae, Eutresis, and Thisbe the haunt of doves; Coronea, and the pastures of Haliartus; Plataea and Glisas; the fortress of Thebes the less; holy Onchestus with its famous grove of Neptune; Arne rich in vineyards; Midea, sacred Nisa, and Anthedon upon the sea. From these there came fifty ships, and in each there were a hundred and twenty young men of the Boeotians. Ascalaphus and Ialmenus, sons of Mars, led the people that dwelt in Aspledon and Orchomenus the realm of Minyas. Astyoche a noble maiden bore them in the house of Actor son of Azeus; for she had gone with Mars secretly into an upper chamber, and he had lain with her. With these there came thirty ships. The Phoceans were led by Schedius and Epistrophus, sons of mighty Iphitus the son of Naubolus. These were they that held Cyparissus, rocky Pytho, holy Crisa, Daulis, and Panopeus; they also that dwelt in Anemorea and Hyampolis, and about the waters of the river Cephissus, and Lilaea by the springs of the Cephissus; with their chieftains came forty ships, and they marshalled the forces of the Phoceans, which were stationed next to the Boeotians, on their left. Ajax, the fleet son of Oileus, commanded the Locrians. He was not so great, nor nearly so great, as Ajax the son of Telamon. He was a little man, and his breastplate was made of linen, but in use of the spear he excelled all the Hellenes and the Achaeans. These dwelt in Cynus, Opous, Calliarus, Bessa, Scarphe, fair Augeae, Tarphe, and Thronium about the river Boagrius. With him there came forty ships of the Locrians who dwell beyond Euboea. The fierce Abantes held Euboea with its cities, Chalcis, Eretria, Histiaea rich in vines, Cerinthus upon the sea, and the rock-perched town of Dium; with them were also the men of Carystus and Styra; Elephenor of the race of Mars was in command of these; he was son of Chalcodon, and chief over all the Abantes. With him they came, fleet of foot and wearing their hair long behind, brave warriors, who would ever strive to tear open the corslets of their foes with their long ashen spears. Of these there came fifty ships. And they that held the strong city of Athens, the people of great Erechtheus, who was born of the soil itself, but Jove's daughter, Minerva, fostered him, and established him at Athens in her own rich sanctuary. There, year by year, the Athenian youths worship him with sacrifices of bulls and rams. These were commanded by Menestheus, son of Peteos. No man living could equal him in the marshalling of chariots and foot soldiers. Nestor could alone rival him, for he was older. With him there came fifty ships. Ajax brought twelve ships from Salamis, and stationed them alongside those of the Athenians. The men of Argos, again, and those who held the walls of Tiryns, with Hermione, and Asine upon the gulf; Troezene, Eionae, and the vineyard lands of Epidaurus; the Achaean youths, moreover, who came from Aegina and Mases; these were led by Diomed of the loud battle-cry, and Sthenelus son of famed Capaneus. With them in command was Euryalus, son of king Mecisteus, son of Talaus; but Diomed was chief over them all. With these there came eighty ships. Those who held the strong city of Mycenae, rich Corinth and Cleonae; Orneae, Araethyrea, and Licyon, where Adrastus reigned of old; Hyperesia, high Gonoessa, and Pellene; Aegium and all the coast-land round about Helice; these sent a hundred ships under the command of King Agamemnon, son of Atreus. His force was far both finest and most numerous, and in their midst was the king himself, all glorious in his armour of gleaming bronze- foremost among the heroes, for he was the greatest king, and had most men under him. And those that dwelt in Lacedaemon, lying low among the hills, Pharis, Sparta, with Messe the haunt of doves; Bryseae, Augeae, Amyclae, and Helos upon the sea; Laas, moreover, and Oetylus; these were led by Menelaus of the loud battle-cry, brother to Agamemnon, and of them there were sixty ships, drawn up apart from the others. Among them went Menelaus himself, strong in zeal, urging his men to fight; for he longed to avenge the toil and sorrow that he had suffered for the sake of Helen. The men of Pylos and Arene, and Thryum where is the ford of the river Alpheus; strong Aipy, Cyparisseis, and Amphigenea; Pteleum, Helos, and Dorium, where the Muses met Thamyris, and stilled his minstrelsy for ever. He was returning from Oechalia, where Eurytus lived and reigned, and boasted that he would surpass even the Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, if they should sing against him; whereon they were angry, and maimed him. They robbed him of his divine power of song, and thenceforth he could strike the lyre no more. These were commanded by Nestor, knight of Gerene, and with him there came ninety ships. And those that held Arcadia, under the high mountain of Cyllene, near the tomb of Aepytus, where the people fight hand to hand; the men of Pheneus also, and Orchomenus rich in flocks; of Rhipae, Stratie, and bleak Enispe; of Tegea and fair Mantinea; of Stymphelus and Parrhasia; of these King Agapenor son of Ancaeus was commander, and they had sixty ships. Many Arcadians, good soldiers, came in each one of them, but Agamemnon found them the ships in which to cross the sea, for they were not a people that occupied their business upon the waters. The men, moreover, of Buprasium and of Elis, so much of it as is enclosed between Hyrmine, Myrsinus upon the sea-shore, the rock Olene and Alesium. These had four leaders, and each of them had ten ships, with many Epeans on board. Their captains were Amphimachus and Thalpius- the one, son of Cteatus, and the other, of Eurytus- both of the race of Actor. The two others were Diores, son of Amarynces, and Polyxenus, son of King Agasthenes, son of Augeas. And those of Dulichium with the sacred Echinean islands, who dwelt beyond the sea off Elis; these were led by Meges, peer of Mars, and the son of valiant Phyleus, dear to Jove, who quarrelled with his father, and went to settle in Dulichium. With him there came forty ships. Ulysses led the brave Cephallenians, who held Ithaca, Neritum with its forests, Crocylea, rugged Aegilips, Samos and Zacynthus, with the mainland also that was over against the islands. These were led by Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, and with him there came twelve ships. Thoas, son of Andraemon, commanded the Aetolians, who dwelt in Pleuron, Olenus, Pylene, Chalcis by the sea, and rocky Calydon, for the great king Oeneus had now no sons living, and was himself dead, as was also golden-haired Meleager, who had been set over the Aetolians to be their king. And with Thoas there came forty ships. The famous spearsman Idomeneus led the Cretans, who held Cnossus, and the well-walled city of Gortys; Lyctus also, Miletus and Lycastus that lies upon the chalk; the populous towns of Phaestus and Rhytium, with the other peoples that dwelt in the hundred cities of Crete. All these were led by Idomeneus, and by Meriones, peer of murderous Mars. And with these there came eighty ships. Tlepolemus, son of Hercules, a man both brave and large of stature, brought nine ships of lordly warriors from Rhodes. These dwelt in Rhodes which is divided among the three cities of Lindus, Ielysus, and Cameirus, that lies upon the chalk. These were commanded by Tlepolemus, son of Hercules by Astyochea, whom he had carried off from Ephyra, on the river Selleis, after sacking many cities of valiant warriors. When Tlepolemus grew up, he killed his father's uncle Licymnius, who had been a famous warrior in his time, but was then grown old. On this he built himself a fleet, gathered a great following, and fled beyond the sea, for he was menaced by the other sons and grandsons of Hercules. After a voyage. during which he suffered great hardship, he came to Rhodes, where the people divided into three communities, according to their tribes, and were dearly loved by Jove, the lord, of gods and men; wherefore the son of Saturn showered down great riches upon them. And Nireus brought three ships from Syme- Nireus, who was the handsomest man that came up under Ilius of all the Danaans after the son of Peleus- but he was a man of no substance, and had but a small following. And those that held Nisyrus, Crapathus, and Casus, with Cos, the city of Eurypylus,
I wrote this story for english class, it is a true story, do you like it? I was once a guidance counselour at a high school, but was fired. Then, I became a mall security guard, but was fired. Now I live with my mom. This time of year, girl scouts come around our neighborhood collecting donations for charities. One fine afternoon, a group of a few girls came up to my house and asked for a donation. It made me angry to think that they were going around conning people out of their hard earned money and giving it to some charity called 'Riley's Children's Hospital.' But anyway, I reached into my pocket, pulled out 12 cents in change, some lint, and an old piece of hard candy and threw it into their jar, then slammed the door shut. I peered out of the peephole in my door and saw the little girl counting out the change. She took out four quarters, handed them to her mother, and her mother handed her a dollar to put in the jar. I heard her say something about making the jar easier to carry, but I'm not stupid, I knew what they were really up to. So I quickly threw on my shoes and hopped in my car. I tailed the young con artist for twenty blocks until she, her friends, and her mom all got into their mini-van and headed home. I took down her address and then drove to the local hardware store. I picked up a crowbar and some matches, then went by the gas station and bought twenty gallons of unleaded gasoline. I then played the waiting game. I waited and waited until the sun went down and night set in. I got into my closet, pulled on some work gloves and a ski mask, then set out for the con artist's house. I snuck around back and encountered my first obstacle, the family dog. I made a trail of sausages leading from her yard to ten miles down the road and let the dog free to follow it. Once I returned to the backyward, I saw that the con artist and her friends were having a slumber party. It disgusted me. As they sat eating their dinner, I realized I needed a distraction of some sort. I whipped out my cell phone and dialed the number for the local Pizza Hut. I order eighteen extra large pizzas with olives, tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon, anchovies, onions, peppers, sausage, ham, pineapple, pepperoni, and zucchini on top, 16 orders of cheezy breads, twenty two liters of coke, and 600 wings to their address. The bill came to $873.34. A couple of hours later I watched in delight as a young pizza boy struggled to push a wheel barrow full of food up to the house. He was out of breath as he rang the doorbell. The con artist's father answered the door and informed the por young pizza boy that he did not order that food. The pizza boy began to cry in fear of losing his job, but the father of the con artist comforted him and told him that he would pay for the food anyway, and gave him a nice sized tip. The father the retreated into the house with the food, declaring to his family that God had sent them the pizza and that they needed to use it for a specific reason. He said they could have all the pizza they wanted and they he would take some of it down to the local homeless shelter. I then made sure that the food would never arrive, by cutting the brake cables on his car. When they all went outside to load the food into the car, I broke the back upstairs window with a crowbar. I got inside her parent's roomand began to trash the place. I found family photos, baby journals, wedding photos, and a multitude of other things that I set on fire. The smell of the smoke must have carried to the other upstairs rooms, because the older deadbeat teenage brother of the conartist soon entered the room. I quickly silenced him by knocking him out with the crowbar, then threw him outside from the second floor. I set fire to her father's immigration papers and put his green card through their paper shredder. I then entered the con artist's brother's room. It had all kinds of books which I tore the pages out of. I also found that he had left his cell phone on and charging, so I took pictures of my genitals and sent them to his family, friends, and his girlfriend along with a message that read "F*ck you, c*ckf*ckers!!" I tore down all of his posters and pissed on his bed. I found a small safe that said "top secret." I picked the lock to find a marijuana cigarette, a lighter, a wallet sized photo o