Wedding Resources

Wedding gift etiquette - what's up with the one year rule? I've heard that guests have up to one year from the time of the wedding to give a gift. Is this true? Where does this custom come from? Do many people actually wait months after the wedding before giving a gift?

When you're a bridesmaid, is it proper etiquette to buy a wedding gift or is being a bridesmaid all you need? I am unsure of the U.S. wedding etiquette for gift giving. Lately, I have been noticing everyone expects a gift for anything with an invitation attached to it. But where I am from, your gift to the couple is being a part of the wedding (not to mention the expense of the dress, etc.). I would like to know the actual U.S. etiquette rules and not have to guess.

What is the proper wedding gift giving etiquette for maid of honor? I am the maid of honor in my cousin's wedding, and am responsible for throwing her a shower. Natually, I've also spent hundreds on dress/shoes/etc and in lieu of a bachelorette party, we will be taking her to a play (her request). I want to do whatever is the right thing, but considering the hundreds I've already spent, how much of a gift is likely expected or proper?

Wedding gift etiquette? When should the wedding gift be given and how? I recently went to a wedding, and was told that it's bad etiquette to bring the wedding gift to the wedding/reception, and that instead they are to be sent to the couple for when they get back from their honeymoon. However, at the wedding, I saw lots of presents, and a table that seemed to be "the present table." The wedding was about 2 weeks ago, and I know the couple didn't go on a honeymoon because they had to work, so how would I go about giving them a wedding gift? Is it too late, or can I still send them one?

Wedding gift etiquette dilemma? I have a co-worker/friend that has invited me to her wedding. I am very excited for her, but I feel the gifting ceremony has gotten completely out of control. I was invited to her bridal shower and I chipped in for a group gift. I was going to attend her wedding and buy her a gift. And now another one of her friend just invited me to a bachelorette party (mind you she gave me 2 days advance notice) and she wants me to chip in for a gift too. Is it really common etiquette to buy a gift for a bachelorette party too? Every other one I've been too, we buy the girl drinks and take her out. I feel like this is getting way out of hand. Plus she has lots of money and things anyhow. I had a low-key wedding, and didn't feel the need to turn every event into a gift-a-thon...so I don't know. I am just being cheap or stubborn? If I really DON'T have the money to contribute to three separate gifts, plus buying drinks for this girl...how do I bow out of this celebration politely?

Wedding Gift Etiquette When You're Strapped for Cash ? So....I am attending a wedding next week for a fairly good friend. I attended her shower several months ago, and gave her a nice gift at that time. Since her shower, however, I left my job and am just squeaking by myself as I try to get a new job in a different state. Am I still required to give a gift in this situation? If so, what is an acceptable gift to give? I've seen etiquette guides say to never give anything less than $75. But, that's outside by budget right now without a job. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks! And if I don't give anything, will I going straight to hell? I'm serious.

Wedding Gift Etiquette? I have a wedding to attend this weekend that I need to get a gift for. My question is since I am a massage therapist is it rude to give them a gift certificate for massage? They have two registries, but have told me they really did not need anything. At one point the bride wanted to set up a massage with me for before the wedding, but her budget has gotten low and schedule crazy. Any suggestions?Thanks! WoW I am surprised with some of your responses. It makes me wonder how much the average person spends on wedding gifts. The bride is not my friend, but a co-workers daughter. So if I give cash what is exceptable?

Wedding Etiquette! How can you, if possible, ask for a gift of money rather than the traditional wedding gift? My fiance and I have been together for several years living in the same household. We have everything that we need, and do not need new toasters, or towels, or anything of the sort. We want to include in the invitations that we want gifts of money towards the down payment of a new house. How do you mention this, if it is indeed okay to mention this. I have been reading up on it, and it says that it is tacky to ask for money. But I have found some cute poems.. Please give me your advice as to whether we should include this in our invitation, or not, and whether you personally would be offended if this was sent to you in an invitation asking for a monetary gift. Thanks a lot! Here are a couple of examples: If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way. A gift of cash towards a new house, would really make our day. However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way More than just kisses so far we've shared, Our home has been made with Love and Care, Most things we need we've already got, And in our home we can't fit a lot! A wishing well we thought would be great, (But only if you wish to participate), A gift of money is placed in the well, Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell! Once we've replaced the old with the new, We can look back and say it was thanks to you! And in return for your kindness, we're sure That one day soon you will get what you wished for. We are sending out this invitation, And hope you will join our celebration. If to send a gift is your intention, In modesty we would like to mention, We have already got a kettle and a toaster, Crockery, dinner mats and coasters So rather than something we have already got, Please give us money for our saving pot. But, most importantly, we request, That you turn up as our wedding guest!

What are the gift etiquette for a wedding? We were invited to the couple shower where we gave a gift and now the weddning is coming up....is it proper to give another gift or is the gift for the couple shower all that has to be given?

What is the proper etiquette when giving a wedding gift? I have a friend whom I don't know that well but I see occasionally through friends of friends. This person just recently got married. I wasn't invited to the wedding and I didn't anticipate that I would be, but I heard that this person was going to get married through the "grape vine". We bumped into each other recently and it felt very akward. This person seemed to have expected something from me and I didn't anticipate this. I wanted to congratulate this person, but I didn't know how. It's not because I don't want to spend the money, nor do I dislike this person, but I just didn't think much of it. How can I make it up or should I feel guilty? I'm at the age where many people I know are starting to get married, but I never really dealt with this particular situation. I feel regretful that I didn't give this person a gift. Yet I don't know what is the proper way to send this person a gift or make it up? Any suggestions?

wedding gift etiquette - how much? I already bought gifts for my friend's bridal shower, and i've been told money is the most appropriate gift for the actual wedding. How much should I give? I am going alone. If it matters, it is not black tie, but to my knowledge is not 'cheap' either.

Shower and wedding gift etiquette among co-workers?? I worked with a group of gals for about 3 years and we all were pretty close. If there was a birthday, new baby, bachelorette party or if their kids were selling something for a fundraiser I always contributed generously when I could afford to. Now these people are no longer my co-workers as I had to take a better paying, better benefits job and we have not worked together now for about 2 months. They've all been invited to my shower and wedding and it seems there is no effort to show up, give a gift or even a card. It's not about the gifts, lets get that straight right now, but I am hurt after seeing all that has been done for others vs. what they've done or not done for me. Should I be feeling this way or even say anything? Please, no smart ass comments, that's really irritating and disrespectful.

Wedding/Bridal Shower Gift Etiquette? I'm going to a bridal shower this weekend and I'm not sure of the gift giving etiquette. It's being held at a country club. They had an engagement party last summer and I brought a gift basket (about $65). How much should I be spending for a shower gift, and should I get a gift off of the registry? Also, the wedding is in mid September and is also formal. I will be bringing a date to the wedding. Should I bring a money gift or should I purchase and mail a gift in advance of the wedding? What's the proper etiquette for wedding/shower gift giving?

Wedding gift etiquette--help!? I'm going to a wedding (out of state) in August. My friend registered at a few different places, but I would rather give her cash. Is this considered acceptable, or would it be tacky?

What is proper etiquette for gift giving for renewing wedding vows? I've been invited and confused what to do? A co-worker has invited me to her renewal of wedding vows. What is the proper etiquette in this matter? Do I give a gift or not? What is the proper attire? She is wearing a hawaiin dress that ties like a halter at the neck and some flowers around her head and ankle. Her husband is going to wear a lei. I've never been invited to one of these so I'm uncertain of the proper etiquette(s). The ceremony will be held in her home with approx. 50-75 guests.

Wedding Gift Etiquette? My family (3 of us) are in a cousins wedding.? What is the appropriate gift amount to spend for them....My dress with shoes & accessories is about $350.00, my sons's tux is $110, and my husbands is $160.00, plus hotel room for 2 nights, plus what I already spent for the shower ($60.00), and the shower gift ($50.00), can I get away with getting them a gift card for $50.00, with everything else that we're spending?

Need help with wedding gift etiquette.....should gifts be returned?????? My friend was married 2 weeks before her bridal shower on short notice....she recieved gifts at her bridal shower only.....they were only married for a total of 38 days.....does she return the gifts from the shower which were only kept for a couple of weeks or do they keep them and split them between themselves???? can anyone tell me the proper etiquette here????

What is proper gift giving etiquette for a wedding shower/wedding? My friend is having a wedding shower before her wedding. If you give a present at the wedding shower are you still expected to give a gift the day of the wedding? Or does the one gift count for both?

Miss Manners- Wedding gift etiquette? If a family member gets married & doesn't tell anyone for 2 months. Then tell family members they are registered at ...... Do you gift or no gift?

Okay if you get a wedding gift from the registery for a wedding shower? Should you also get one for the weddin Okay if you get a wedding gift from the registery for a wedding shower? Should you also get one for the actually wedding. I am looking for Wedding etiquette advice on gifts. I have two wedding showers. One person is registered while the other one is not. Also The weddings are one month apart...

What is the etiquette regarding wedding gifts and shower gifts and party gifts? I am in my mid 20s and lots of my friends are getting married, but one thing that is really bothering me is that all of them are expecting gifts, expensive gifts, not just at their wedding showers, but at their engagement parties, their bachelor/bachelorette parties and then also at their actual weddings. When I was growing up my parents taught me that a gift at the shower or at the wedding itself if you weren't invited to the shower was good etiquette, but my boyfriend get so embarrassed when everyone else brings gifts to every occasion and I insist that we are fine. Are we wrong for not bringing $50+ gifts to every event or are our friends wrong for expecting gifts at every event surrounding the wedding? To add to the earlier details, are showers and weddings 2 separate events requiring 2 different gifts off of the couple's registry? Typically everyone brings a registry gift to the showers, and then another to the wedding. At the bachelorette showers invitations go out with requests for lingere and "gifts meant to be enjoyed on the honeymoon" and for the bachelor parties bottles of liquor or adult themed gifts... It adds up when you consider we all for the most part just finished school and my boyfriend and I are both still in school (PhD studies) without full time employment. One last thing, I don't even live in the country (I go to a university abroad), but I still get invites and send gifts, as if the situation wasn't complicated enough. Answers for my specific situation and in general for people who do attend all of the events are appreciated.

receiving wedding shower gift etiquette? my fiance and I are getting married in Oct. and the wedding shower is in Aug. we have started to recieve gifts for the wedding shower... when do we send the thank-you's... right away or in a couple weeks.. thanks for the help!!

Do you give a shower and/or wedding/reception gift if you are not attending the shower or the wedding? I moved across country recently, and a lot of my friends are now getting married back home. Since I cannot fly home for all of their weddings; I have been told that everyone understands that I will fly home for my oldest friend's wedding and see everyone then. Do I need to send gifts to those friends whose showers/weddings I am NOT attending? And for the friend whose wedding I am attending; do I give her a shower gift (not attending) as well as a wedding gift (am attending)? I am SO confused and really cannot afford much because of our move across country. But I do not want to do the wrong thing and offend any of my friends, so I am hoping to get some proper wedding gift etiquette and advice!

What is the proper etiquette for gift giving if you are invited to a wedding but can not make it? I am invited to a good friends wedding and I am unable to make it. I will be going to the bridal shower and will be giving a gift there. Do i still have to give another gift for the wedding even though I will not be attending?

What is proper etiquette for a wedding gift?

Wedding shower etiquette regarding gift from hostess? My niece and I are giving my step-daughter a post-wedding shower. I believe it is customary for the bride maids or girlfriends to do it, but it just never happened so we took the job. My question is this....my husband and I paid for her wedding, gave her a gift at the wedding, bought and gave her dishes and other odds & ends for her house, would it be considered incorrect for us to NOT buy her a gift for the shower? We have already spent a great deal on her & her husband and we have 3 other children to consider. After the expenses we will incur for the shower, I feel we have done enough.....what is the proper behavior? Thanks in advance & blessings to all! Just as a follow-up, wanted to let you know the reason we are giving the shower after the wedding is because there wasn't time before. Her husband is in the National Guard and had to leave before their scheduled wedding date so we moved it up and had to get it all planned in a rush. Thank you all for taking the time to give such great answers. It is going to be hard to pick the best one.

Wedding gift question/etiquette? We have a groomsmen that was in our wedding a few months ago that never got us gift (or even a card or any recognition). He's not struggling with money or anything...We were both really good friends with him, then he started getting a little shady.. Now he's engaged and getting married quite quickly. Both my husband and I are a little bitter...should we get him a wedding gift? What would you do? I'd just like to point out that we are still friends and we still talk, so it's not like we're holding it against him in real life...I didn't even really think about it until he announced his engagement and wedding. I'm not terribly shallow. I just think what he did was in poor taste. thanks for all of the answers so far As far as the expenses, it was just an $80 tux. He didn't have to travel and the bachelor party was nothing more than a night out at the bar. This also makes me angry because my girls bought a dress, threw a shower, traveled to the wedding, we went to Vegas for the bachelorette party...and they all got us small (but lovely gifts). Maybe it's just men. we also gave our wedding party gifts.

wedding reception gift etiquette? The invitation clearly states no gifts, but I feel ackword about not bringing one, should I bring one anyways or give one to my friends at a later date? what is appropriate?

post wedding party gift opening etiquette? I got married last month in Las Vegas. My sister is giving my husband and I a party. This is not a shower, and not an occasion where I am expecting gifts. However, I know that some people may bring gifts. In this instance, do I open the gifts at the party, or should I wait until later? I have heard different perspectives. Some say that you open gifts at a shower, but not at a party. Other people are of the opinion that it is tacky not to go ahead and open the gifts that people bring. I don't want to offend anyone! What is the proper protocol here! Thanks!

Is it really good wedding etiquette to provide money and a gift? My mother was telling me the other day that you are supposed to give a check that covers your dinner and a gift for a wedding. I've been told that to be safe we should give $100 if you don't know how much the dinner is to cost. I've never heard this before. At our wedding, we didn't get anything like this. The wedding is actually for one of our groomsmen for our wedding and he gave my husband a flask for a wedding gift. His wedding is today. We've bought them about $100 in gifts...do we also need to bring a check?

Two wedding questions - one gift - one etiquette....? Q1 - A couple we know is getting married. We are unable to attend. We haven't met the bride (though she helps us out alot over the comp) and haven't seen the groom in 15+yrs. They finacially are very well to do - one is a lawyer one a vet....no kids. Their wedding will be upscale...no registry...what can I send as a gift? (we are not well to do but I feel we should send a gift given all her help) Q2 Unrelated to above question...My husband feels the cost of a wedding gift should equeal the cost of the reception per person x the number of givers per gift. I feel that a gift souldn't have a cost associated with it (unless the reciever gave you a wedding gift and then it should at least equeal theirs). A gift is individual to the giver and their income and what the reciever might enjoy...I don't feel it is the guest responsibility to compansate the host for having a party of their choosing...what is your opinion?

Wedding Etiquette: If I splash out for bridal shower gift, do I need to get a wedding gift too?

Wedding etiquette - favours and gift list? We are having 120 peopl at the ceremony, which is the maximum number of people the room can hold, then inviting few more people to the reception, which is a buffet, no sit-down meal. Do we give wedding favours to everyone, or just those who attend the ceremony; and do we send out a gift list to everyone, or just those who atend the ceemony? In England it is normal to invite people to the reception who weren't invited to the ceremny, normally because the reception room holds more people than the ceremony room and there are some people you couldn't invite to the ceremony but still want there as part of your day.

Is it proper etiquette to write words of sympathy in a thank you note for a wedding gift? A friend of my mother just lost her teenage son a few weeks ago, he passed-away in his sleep. She sent us a card congratulating us on our marriage. Is it proper etiquette to say thank you and 'we're sorry to hear about your son' in the same note to her?

Help with wedding invitation etiquette:GIFT REGISTRY!? I've read that including a gift registry card with your wedding invitations is tacky. We're getting married in Vegas, and I am not having a reception. I'm afraid my relatives and friends will buy us stuff we already have.....we have everything we'll ever need, we'll be mainly asking for stuff we want but still reasonable to request. Do you think having a gift registry card with my invitations is tacky, or do you think it's logical to prevent people from buying us stuff we don't need? ((I need honest opinions here, I hardly see my family so they'll buy us stuff or send us money reguardless to make themselves feel less guilty)) I have to add that none of my family members talk to eachother, so spreading it via "word of mouth" would be impossible since they hate eachother.

What is the etiquette on gift giving for a destination wedding? Is a gift required or expected?

Etiquette for sending a wedding gift? How long after the wedding can it be appropriate? Oops. Will it still be appropriate??

What is proper etiquette for wedding gifts, something from one of their 3 gift registry's or something else?

What is the proper wedding etiquette on returning gifts? If the newlywed couple gets divorced within 1 year of marriage, are they suppose to return the gifts?

Is it etiquette to buy the wedding planner a gift ? If so, what would be appropriate?

Are you supposed to spend more on a wedding gift if you bring a date to the wedding? What's the etiquette on wedding gifts? Please include your own opinions as well as links to sources (Miss Manners, etc.). thanks!

When guests give you a wedding gift are they supposed to include the reciept just in case there's duplicates? I am new to all this and am wondering the proper etiquette regarding wedding gifts.

Ok what is proper etiquette do you give both a shower and wedding gift or just one?

What's the proper etiquette for requesting no wedding gifts? My fiance and I are planning to be married in December. It's his third marriage, my second; he's 40, I'm 39. We both feel it's in poor taste to register somewhere for gifts. We don't really need anything. Is it proper to state on the invitations "your presence is your gift" or something to that effect? We are only having a private ceremony with a celebratory reception the following day for well-wishers to attend if they like.

Wedding etiquette - stolen gifts? My daughter recently got married and has discovered that a few packages (wedding gifts) sent to her apartment have never been delivered. This is only happening with UPS deliveries to her door (supposedly left without signature when she wasn't at home). The way she discovered this was because of friends who actually called to say, "Hey, did you ever get my package?" - good thing they did!! My question, though, is: Is there a polite way to let people know that you have discovered package theft, without sounding as if you are saying, "Hey, I didn't get a gift from you..." She really doesn't want to be the bride that someone thinks was too rude to send a Thank You note. I've read that you shouldn't say anything about "missing" gifts, but would that be true even when you have experienced actual package theft??

Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a wedding? Would you be offended if someone brought a gift to your wedding? I was just reading on theknot.com's etiquette section. They were listing wedding guests' biggest etiquette blunders, and one of them was taking gifts to the wedding location (instead of having them shipped to the couple's address). They wrote: "Bringing anything bigger than a check is simply an inconvenience. When a guest arrives with a boxed toaster oven or bath towels, it means someone else will be driving around town delivering the goods post wedding. Be sure to include a shipping address on your registry so people can send gifts directly to you." I will be getting married in 8 days, and I am personally looking forward to seeing the gift table piled high with tulle-covered boxes -- it's festive. Yes, I know my dad will have to cart them home in his truck, and we will have to pick them up from him after we get back from our honeymoon. But how can one find a gift-bringer offensive? What do you think?

What is proper etiquette in giving bridal shower and wedding gifts? A few of my friends came to both my bridal shower and wedding last year and gave a shower gift (ranging from about $20-25) and then came to the wedding but did not give a wedding gift. Several of them are getting married soon, so should I do the same, or give gifts for both? Is it customary to some people to only do one or the other? I personally have always given gifts for both occasions, if invited, but would like to know other people's opinions.

Wedding invitation etiquette regarding "no gift box" request? My fiance and I are getting married in his country. Pretty much straight after the wedding, we plan to move back to the country we live in. We both know that any gifts his relatives might give us will be difficult to be carried back to our country. We're thinking of writing "no gift box" on our invitation card that encourage people to give money instead of gifts cos it will mean much more to us then. The thing is that we really dont know how to write it in a polite way and to write it in the way that people would understand and not getting offended by it. Please help!!! Any advices is appreciated! THANKS

Does a bridesmaid have to give a gift at the wedding shower and/or actual wedding? Whats the proper etiquette?

Etiquette question - OK to buy off wedding registry for Xmas gift? My sister-in-law is getting married in July. She's got her wedding registries started at a number of different stores, and we need Christmas gift ideas for her and fiance. Do you think there would be anything wrong with getting something from their registry, for Christmas, or would that be weird? I'm not sure. Why or why not?

Can an unframed, original painting still be an acceptable wedding gift? I have a wedding to attend on Saturday and I'm not going to go out and purchase a gift, at the same time I'm aware of etiquette and don't want to show up with nothing. I'm a painter (or at least was) and have about 50 original oil paintings. Would it be fine just to give them one of those (unframed)?

What is the proper etiquette for wedding gifts? Ok, I hate the thought of registering for gifts as it seems to me like you are asking people to give you presents and then telling them exactly what to get! My fiance and my mom told me that I'm being silly though so I will be registering for gifts. So ok, I know that it has become perfectly acceptable with so many shops offering the wedding gift list service and we will be registering for gifts but should you put that information in with the invites or wait to see if people ask for it? I always assumed you put it in with the invites because I know loads of people who have done that but I have since read that it's in poor taste. The article I was reading said you should wait until people enquire about a list. Then my mom said that was silly too as most people are grateful to have a list so they don't have to think about it and those who want to get something different can still do that anyway. Help, what is the proper etiquette? Some people seem to be getting th wrong end of the stick and giving me the exact same answer that they have given someone else! I'm not asking for money, I will have the gift registry, I just don't know how to deal with this in the invites. Also I am from the UK and we don't have bridal showers. As I have said, I am from the UK where we do not have wedding showers. The only gifts we get are at the wedding and that is when people usually use a gift registry We have been given special cards by the store we registered with that they say are to put in the invitations just saying that we have registered with them for gifts.

Do I need to give a shower gift AND a wedding gift? What's the proper etiquette? We are invited to a wedding shower for the granddaughter of a neighbor. We don't know the granddaughter all that well. Do we need to take a shower gift and send a gift for the wedding (not sure if we will be able to attend the wedding)? Thanks for your help.

What kind of wedding gift could I send to a Japanese couple? During my junior year in college, I lived with her and her family when she was 11. Her mother and I still correspond every year and I'd like to send a nice gift. I never attended a wedding in Japan and don't know their etiquette as far as gifts go.

Whats etiquette? Gifts received in mail before shower or wedding.? We received a few gifts off our registry in the mail. One before the invitations even went out. (This person is a young male who is not attending the shower.) And a few others from relatives who will be at shower. Not sure when shower is. Anyway.... Do I send a thank you note now so as the gift giver knows they were received? Or can I wait till after the shower?But when I thank them early do I say wedding gift? Our wedding is at end of Oct.

Wedding Etiquette - monetary gifts? Ok, living in southern Ontario (and being a of a European descent) I heard the average monetary contribution was $200 per couple. This is my brothers' 2nd wedding (so I've already shelled out $250 - 4 yrs ago) and also we're in the wedding party again (so we've already paid for the suit/dresses) we will also add in a child and 2 elderly parents as part of the invite, so I was thinking that after pooling our $ together a total of $350 is not too unreasonable....for those that are curious as to why money and not gifts, they have a house with everything they need so they don't have a need for 12 toasters and 25 mixers...most people appreciate cash...I forgot to mention this wedding has dinner provided for ALL guests but has a cash bar....