Wedding Resources - Fall Wedding Cakes Knowledge Base

Fall Wedding Cakes Knowledge Base

Wedding Cakes!! Any fall Ideas/ Pictures for a cake? I'M wanting to go cheap with the cake. it isn't the most important part. But I want something beautiful!! I am looking for a place I can order gum paste leaves at?? I am having a fall wedding (october 25, 08) and my theme is "fall in love" I am using fall colors. I am looking for a idea with the fall theme but everywhere i go the gum paste leaves are BRIGHT I want dall browns and reds and burt oranges! :)

Can someone help with wedding cakes for a fall wedding?!? I am getting married on Nov. 1st of this year. We are running a little bit behind with everything!! I am needing help picking out flavors for the wedding cake. I'm not following the traditional white theme, I am going with ivory and I want the cake to match. The reason I am asking is because the cake maker lives a hour away and I am swamped with school to be able to travel. What I am trying to ask: What are some good flavors for a wedding cake that aren't vanilla and would be good with a ivory flavored icing? Any positive help would be appreciated!!!!

Country rustic, fall wedding cake ideas? ok we are getting married 11-1-08 at my sister's ranch, its country and rustic and we arent doing the whole fall thing, no leaves, pumpkins. any pics or ideas would be great!! also i was thinking of doing cupcakes instead of cake any ideas of what i could decorate the top of the cupcakes with...

Fall Wedding cake colors? i dont want red.also to make a black color frosting? Help ladies im getting married in oct and my wedding cake needs color no reds please.also grooms cake is a Jack Daniels bottle clear and blacl label.frosting tip help needed...

I am making my own wedding cake. is there a certain recipe I should follow so my cake doesnt fall apart? I have made some sample caked with the Ready-To-Make boxes...like the ones that you add eggs and water to. Is there a recipe to follow that insures a good cake that won't fall apart? BTW- I need vanilla and chocolate recipes. thanks!

Fall & Chef Themed Wedding Ideas? Help I'm getting married in Nov. and i am planning on a fall themed wedding but i need help gathering info! anyone with fall themed invitations, table pieces, cakes, wedding favors, etc,.... my fiance is a Chef, so we are trying to incorporate chef theme as well ( mini whisks, cookie cutters in the shape of maple leaves etc.) any idea will be greatly appreacted. Thanks

How do you feel about fake wedding cakes? A lot of people are having fake wedding cakes and just having sheet cakes to cut and feed everyone with.. What is your opnion on this. I am having mixed thoughts.. I really am thinking about it for my fall wedding because I want a pretty large cake and it is sooo costly then to just serve sheet cakes? Its a great idea but do you think that it is tacky? they look amazing and real but like 50 bucks vrs 300.. lol Just wanted some other peoples thoughts on this.. lol Maybe I should add some details. The buttom to cakes are fake with REAL icing the top cake is real and thats what you CUT! Lots of bakers hate making "smashed cakes" bc serving of those cakes are horrible! So buttom two fake top one real (another made for us to take for freezing) then we can cut a real cake and serve real cake the excat same baker would do both. I could just have a huge cake and not be wasting it.. Does that help

Wedding Cake Prices near Wichita Falls, Texas? I am having a wedding in June and I need to order a wedding cake. Does anyone know of a place in or near Wichita Falls, Texas that does wedding cakes fairly cheap? Enough for 500-600 people I live 45 minutes from Wichita Falls. In a town called Olney. If you know of any in the general vacinity that would be great!

fall wedding one day befor it turns autumn? My wedding is Sept 21st one day before the first day of autumn. Is that ok to have leaves and things like that for decor even though its not officially fall? some years fall lands on the 21st. plus any fall ideas for head table, cake table, place card setting and other little things needed. I love crafts, plus we are on a tight budget so I will be doing it myself. Thanks!

How do I keep a wedding cake topper from falling over? I am trying to help my sister in law make her wedding cake. how do we keep the wedding topper from falling over? getting a new topper isn't an option she already bought a porcelain one

Help! Groom and groomsmen tux colors for fall wedding? I'm having my wedding in the fall, i have my cake ideas, dress ideas, decoration ideas, location, blah blah... But i have no idea what colors to put my future hubby and his groomsmen in, in fact i know nothing about tuxes at all, does anyone know any tux styles that are nice and complimentary color ideas for a fall wedding?

Which wedding cake? Which one of these looks the best? It's for fall wedding, in October. http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkcakebox/1572180390/ http://blog.pinkcakebox.com/fall-themed-wedding-cake-2006-10-27.htm http://blog.pinkcakebox.com/red-velvet-wedding-cake-2007-10-28.htm http://blog.pinkcakebox.com/fall-wedding-cake-2006-11-25.htm I think I'm leaning towards cake number 3, and it's a red velvet cake which is my favorite kind of cake and would also tie in with my color scheme but I'm just not sure, so I really need opions! You guys are right, fondant is nasty, but there is still frosting underneath the fondant. The fondant is just a smooth surface to make the cake look pretty and is easy to decorate on. So when you get the piece of cake you can just peel the fondant off and eat the cake and icing. Unless you just want to eat the fondant. I do know some people who like it, but I am not one of those!

What to serve at a Fall wedding :) I was thinking boasted chicken and maybe mac 7 cheese, baked beans, and stuff like that... What do you think for a semi formal wedding. We all have tux/ suits and I am wearing a gown. I want "nice food" but cheaper food.. any suggestions?? Also what do you think about a cup cake tree along with a wedding cake?? IDK? Buffet style! My friends wedding reception was at the same place & it was so beautiful!! We did a buffet style food there. It turned out great! However I am wanting to serve cans of pop. What would you reccomend putting them in?? A tote? or coolers.. something large that would hold ice? I dont kow what I can put them in... I am having a dessert table also. what types of food can u put with a choc fountian.. I have seen marshmellows and things like that.. they are very cheap

anyone have any ideas for a cheap but still classy fall wedding ideas we will have approx 100 people? We are getting married next sept and I am looking for some ideas for a fall themed wedding my grandmother is making my dress my dad is making my cake plus the food but we are on a very limited budget I am located in the baytown area of texas (south houston ) I am even willing to do it outside favor ideas food menus anything woud be helpful even location thank you

Any cheap ideas for a wedding in Fall 2009? My fiance and I are having our wedding in October 2009 and are using persimmon (redish/orange) and gold as our two main fall colors with hints of brown and greens. We want our wedding to be very fallish so we have already bought silk leaves (which will be used on each side of the aisle and on our tables at the reception) and have ideas of what we want for our centerpieces (floating candles). His aunt is making our wedding cake and my church is preparing the meal (traditional Thanksgiving meal) so these things are covered. Our favors...we have no idea what to do as we are having 150 guests to make favors for. We know we don't want to use any food products so maybe candles or something. Anyways, if you have any simple but elegant ideas please let me know. I can't wait to hear from all of you. P.S. Incase this matters my dress is ivory and my bridesmaids are persimmon. My fiance is wearing an ivory tux and his men are wearing brown tuxes.

Can anyone help me with some wedding ideas/tips? ok. first off me and my b/f are talking about getting married ne where between july and october of 09 (i personally would love october because we live in florida and it won't be scorching hot.) neither one of us belong to a church nor go,but we wan't to go to a church for a wedding. i say its a lil rude to marry in a church u are not a part of he says ppl do it all the time. option B can u ahve a christian wedding thats not in a church? also what are some pretty/cool places to get married in jacksonville, fl? what colors for a wedding/wedding party are nice for a fall wedding? cake flavors? im 5'0 and 85 lbs and hate heels is it extra to have a dress taken down a few sizes? id figure it would be ne way. even with all these wedding shows on we tv iv got nothing so if ne one can help me i would greatly apprciate it. thank u. ps we both work weekends so church is hard for us otherwise we would

Was this the lowest, most ridiculous moment in soap opera history? A body inside a wedding cake? I had no choice about seeing the opening scenes of Passions on NBC today because I'm visiting a friend who insists on watching it, and I saw a dead body fall out of a wedding cake?!?! Is this the lowest moment in soap opera history? Sam just said, "Let's hope she wasn't baked to death." I mean really now, but this is over the top. If you doubt me, my friend says Passions has a website which summarizes each day's episode. So, check it out.

How to make leaves on a cake? I am making a fall wedding cake and my customer wants a simple elegant ivory cake with fall leaves on it.Now my only problem??HOW IN THE HELL can i make fall leaves? lol. i made some using a mold and i used gumpaste but im not so sure i like them.please help

Do you really need a wedding cake topper? I'm having a fall themed cake, and I don't really like the idea of a wedding cake topper. Is it absolutely necessary to have one? Would it look stupid if I didn't? Thanks.

Wedding question? I am going to be having a fall wedding. I like the tradition of releasing butterflies. Do you think it would be appropriate to have a wedding cake with edible fall colored butterflies and also have monarch butterflies to release? I guess it is not a good idea to release butterflies. Does any body know something else that would be special to do on that day?

Fall brides: what are/were your cake flavors or what do you think would be good for a fall wedding? Did you choose something seasonal like pumpkin, carrot, chai, etc or something generic appropriate for all seasons?

What do you think of my wedding cake? What colors would you do? The link below is my wedding cake... my colors are pink and brown. I wanted to do all the white- brown with 2 different pink accents like shown. My fiance wants to leave the base white and just make one of the pinks the brown. I think he's just stuck on the wedding cakes are suppose to be white idea. Which one do you perfer and why? http://www.sweetmemoriesbakery.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=2&pos=83 It's the first one in the album pink and white. And we are having a fall wedding. Making sure you understand me- I want the base of the cake to be brown... My fiance wants the base white. Cake is 84/92 if you can't see the one I am talking about. YES- LOL- it will be chocolate buttercream and chocolate fundont. I like it busy, it's the Mad Hatter cake!!

fall wedding menu help? We have a really tight budget, are doing our own food, and know nothing about catering. Our wedding is in September and it will be about 150 people. First of all, how diverse of a menu is necessary? We were thinking a bread, salad, a meat, a pasta, 2 vegetables, potato and/or rice, fruit and cake. I was told we should have a soup too, but is that too much? It's being served buffet style. Any ideas on specific foods to serve? We are vegetarian, but very few others are. Thanks for the help!

Suggestions for a fall themed wedding? I'm having a fall themed wedding in New England in October...does anyone have suggestions for elegant floral arrangements, center pieces, or the cake? The colors are burgandy and ivory...

Pink Navy and Silver Fall Wedding? Does anyone have a Picture and a link to a beautiful Pink and Navy or Pink and Silver Wedding. As in a cake, decor, Table setting, Centerpieces, etc. Thank you all Very Much!!!!

Wedding cake, what do you think? Hey all, I have been compiling different aspects of wedding cakes that I like to figure out what I want in a wedding cake. What do you think of these things? I like the look of falling fabric on this one, but thats it. http://www.palmcoveweddings.com/images/big2.jpg And in this one I love the look of the black swirling vines, but I think I'd only one that on the bottom teir http://www.grandprewines.ns.ca/images/LisaandAlexCake2.jpg And I think this is absolutely adorable and I'm thinking maybe something similar for the top teir of my cake http://www.thecookduke.com/pics/wedding-cake-pictures-3.jpg I'm planning on a fall wedding and my colors are mostly likely going to be a deep red, browns, creamy ivory, and maybe oranges(but only in the flowers) to match the season, but I haven't decided yet...what do you all think? I was planning on trying to include each of the aspects I said I liked from the individual cakes without making it too busy. Phaylynn: Good call, I hadn't even thought of the fact that those folds would create a wall of frosting! Ozziegal: Wonderful!!! I love your idea to personalize the cake, and I think I now have an exact idea of how I want the cake to look. Thank you!!

Wedding cake table..? What type of decorations did you put on the table where your wedding cake was? I am having a fall wedding so I was going to scatter fake fall leaves around the table with some tea lights and of course the knift set and personalized napkins we ordered.

Fall Wedding, what do you think? I'm having a fall wedding and reception this Septmeber outdoors in our large and very open back yard. I've got my colors picked, burgandy, burnt orange and gold. The guys will be wearing tuxs with camo vests. I'm going to have leaf girls instead of flower girls. For my centerpieces I've to go with edible centerpieces, using fruit and veggies. I've decided to go with a small tiered cake in a different flavor and then also having a large sheet cake in chocolate and white. We're going to have a buffet style fish fry, with hushpuppies, corn bread, fries, okra, and other things we can think of. We're having soda, water and a good deal of alchol. And it may sound like most everything is figured out but alot of it isn't but I wanted to know what people thought so far. This is also going to be a day wedding, on a really simple bugdet since it's on such short notice we haven't had anytime to save money up. I've decided that I want a tea-length dress that's also very simple. Each bridesmaid will be wearing a different one of the colors. I'm looking to have my hair done half up or all up in a pretty-messy sort of look.

Do you think will happen Vickie and Edge's wedding? I think either Rey Mysterio or Undertaker will will team up and get revenge on the happy couple. I another thing that I would love to see is Lita crashing the wedding. Then she will shove Vickie head first into the wedding cake. Then Edge will dump Vickie and Edge will fall in love with Lita.

What were your CHEAP wedding tricks? I have heard of having a small cake to cut and having a sheet cake in the back to serve. Anything is appreciated.... I am having a fall wedding in a park log cabin.

Does anyone know of a Cake shop in Orlando FL that does Cakes like Charm City Cakes? I'm looking for a shop that does cakes like Charm City Cakes. Its for my wedding in Fall 2009. Thanks in advance guys. Thanks! I really appreciate that hun =o)

how do i set a 3 tier wedding cake? Right my sister in law was on a very tight budget. she was given silly prices for a 3 tier cake. Then she thought of baking it. so we helped her out and its just a plain white iced round cake size 10,8 & 6. we have a round base in silver where the 10" cake will sit, but we need to put these little roman pillars inbetween each tier. Trouble is the the 8 & 6" cakes are not staying quite stable on the pillars and are abit wobbly and could or keep threatening to fall off! How could we secure the cake and make a 3 tier cake. do we take the cake off the cake boards? help she's in tears!!!

What is the best recipe for a carrot wedding cake? and if you could, some good fall themed decorating ideas? thanks!

Wedding cupcake help PLEASE!? Ok, I'm getting so frusterated I could cry! I am looking for a picture that I can take to someone, of the cupcakes wedding cake I'm looking for, for my wedding. We are having a fall themed wedding, mostly maple leaf's, I can find all sorts of websites about wedding cakes, but I cannot find ANY with a picture of the cake I want.. its cupcakes, I just want fall themed cupcakes, with or without the maple leaf's, my colours are fall colors, coppery oranges, some dark yelow, nice browns.. just please give me any pictures, or websites you can recomend on cupcake wedding cakes.. Thank you very much..

I am torn between these two wedding dresses, please help!? Dress #1 ~~ http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=1624&prodgroup=127 Dress #2 ~~ http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2296&prodgroup=127 The wedding is 9-20-08 so it is a fall wedding...if that means anything. Please dont say they are both beautiful because I know that...that is the problem!! I need help... Also, we are not going to have a wedding cake, but a sweet table instead. Do you think that guests will be offended?

looking for some pictures of wedding cakes...please help...? particularly something that has a fall look to it...

do you guys like my wedding cake? it won't be blue, it will be white....it's for an adirondack mountain fall wedding. http://www.oregondairy.com/images/wedding%20pine%20cone%20lg.jpg of course you can copy it!!!! it will be a white cake. the cones are not edible. the cake will be red velvet.

Calla lilies for a fall wedding? I am getting married in October. I have my heart set on having a calla lily theme. Does anyone think this sounds too "springy"? I don't like the typical autumn flowers such as chrysanthemums. The calla lilies would be on items such as the invitations, on the cake, etc. The bouquets are going to be a combination of blood red roses (deep burgundy) and calla lilies (the bridesmaid dresses are wine/burgundy). I didn't clarify before. The calla lilies on the cake and invitations, etc. are the white ones. I could incorporate other darker ones into the bouquet. I'm getting married 10.18.08 too!

Help with wedding cake/cupcake ideas....? My fiance & I are considering this for our wedding cake: We would have a small (maybe 2-tiered?) traditional cake for the cake-cutting ceremony. Then in place of the groom's cake have a stand of chocolate cupcakes to be served to the guests. Another idea I had was to have a large tiered stand of cupcakes, with half of them white (for the 'bridal cake') & then the other half chocolate (for the groom's 'cake' ). So if you saw the stand from the front, the left side would be all chocolate & the right side all white. If we did this, should we forget the small traditional cake all together & just do cupcakes? Which idea do you like better? Any thoughts/ideas are appreciated! Just so you know, we are having a laid-back, outdoor wedding in the fall. Between 80-100 guests.

What do you think of this topper I made? So I spent pretty much all afternoon working on this cake topper made out of polymer clay. I've never really sculpted anything out of clay before besides those little pots everyone makes in 1st grade. Anyway, I wanted to have a cake topper with a nest and 2 birds (we're having a fall-themed wedding and the cake has a lot of leaves on it). i couldn't find anything online with that description that was under $20. I put a leaf on the bottom of it, but I want to make small clay leaves to fill the gaps in as soon as I figure out how to do that. Hey, if you know a quick way to make leaves out of clay, let me know that too :) What do you think of this on top of a fall wedding cake! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v312/chikufairy/caketop1.jpg Thanks for honest opinions. I'm not an artist, obviously, but hopefully my skill is enough to save me money, haha. Um, Mad Luv, I am the bride. Female avatar... Wow, thanks for all the compliments and suggestions! It takes me forever to make this one (about 4 hours, including baking time), so I don't think I could have a business without going insane :D

Bridesmaids dress colors and wedding color theme.? I having trouble choosing my wedding colors. My wedding is in Oct. I originally wanted to do a fall leaf theme. I want to put fake fall leaves on the tables and on my wedding cake. I found a bouquet I like that is gerbanias (sp?) and other flowers with orange, red, and yellow in the bouquet. I also bought cheap silk flowers and I made a sample bouquet for my bridesmaids. I went to davids bridal to look at bridesmaids dresses with my maid of honor. We found the most beauitful blue color dress. I just fell in love with the color. Now I dont know what to do. Blue (its a darker ocean type blue) is not a fall leaf color. We have a few samples of other colors we all like. I was thinking maybe the blue color and then a minty green go together. Or the blue and the chocolate brown go together, also blue goes with gold, burgandy, ect. I just was set on the fall colors as the overall color scheme for my wedding, and now that i see that pretty blue, i kinda want that........ My fiance says that the table decorations do not have to match the bridesmaids dresses. But I already have my orange and yellow flowers for the bridesmaids to use. Granted, the flowers are cheap so I could get a diff. color, but I had my heart set on the orange ones. What should I do? Can I combine the blue dress to the scheme? Can I make it work, if so how? Or should I stick with my original fall hues theme. I was thinking I can have two girls in the blue and two girls in another color like the mint, or burgandy. (I have 4 girls in my wedding party total)

Wedding fun? Yay i am going to a wedding 2day!! Haha anyone have any wedding memories like the cake fell anyhing like that?? lol as u can C i am bored

How much detail is too much for a wedding cake? I am a college student who is waiting to get married until a few years after graduation, so the wedding will not be happening until 2011. I have already found my dress though and bought it since the style has been discontinued. Our wedding will be in the fall and we are incorporating darker natural tones into the decorations. The dress I chose has a distinct floral pattern around the bottom edge and I am wondering how that pattern would look around the layers of my cake. I am thinking of a 4 tier round cake, with off white buttercream frosting. I would like the details on the cake to reflect the colors on the dress but would that be too much? Here is a picture of the dress. http://www.valcollections2.com/fullView.asp?sf=y&nb=1&id='195880786'&img=http://www.valcollections.com/images/mon/mc-25291a.jpg There are two different colored dresses, if you look at the second brighter dress, that is the one I have.

I am baking a cake for sunday, that will be stacked on top of each other what prevents it from falling apart? Its like a wedding cake its 9 inch on bottom, seven inch in the middle and 6 inch i was wondering what i can do to prevent it from falling apart because i am making it on friday and the wedding is on sunday. how do i also stack a cake on top of each other? thanks so much.

White Sox Theme Wedding? Ok here it goes... My fiance and I love the Chicago White Sox. His dream was to get married at U.S Cellular (aka Comisky Park), but since I would rather be married in a church, I have decided to go with a sox theme wedding. If you don't know what the colors are for the white sox, it is black and white. I do not want to go with a black and white wedding, so how would I be able to incorporate the chicago white sox into my wedding? Ideas so far: place card holders that look like tickets to the park a 2005 world series cake (mini version) and a traditional wedding cake Wedding party being announced as "Now for your starting line up...(then announces the bridal party as we all walk through the door wearing jersey's. that is all I can think of... I still need some ideas for bridesmaid dresses, flowers and decor. If I decide on this wedding it will be in the fall. If I choose a spring wedding I will have something completely different.

What do you think of Sky & Chocolate Wedding Colors? I'm picking wedding colors. omg it's so tough. what do you think of this combination for a fall 08 wedding. sky blue and chocolate brown (blue & brown basically). would it be good for decoration, flower, cake, bridesmaid dress, groom's men tie, etc.? i really want to keep the blue part... any color combo suggestions? i hate the fall orangey colors... there's gotta be something that i can match blue with (even if it's just a little blue)

shamrock wedding cake pics? do you have any? getting married on pattys day and id like a cake 2-3 tiers mainly simple but a cascade of shamrocks falling from the top. i am open to other ideas and if you have a pic i will greatly appreciate your input.

Cake toppers? Do people still use cake toppers for their wedding cakes? I was thinking about doing something like this http://www.dessertworks.net/pics/weddingnn.jpg for my fall wedding. I wouldn't be opposed to doing a topper, but haven't found any I like and think it would be too much (gaudy) for what I want to do. What do you think? My wedding is September 15th. Oh, and I am leaving out the pumpkins on the cake.

Practising wedding Invites? I have bought 100 ivory great quailty card with stationary pictures of wedding cakes, cars, wine bottles etc to put on front and also Weddidng invitiation gold stickers and Evening Invites too. Ive jsu done 1 for practice and it looks great and has a personla fell to it, to say ive made the effort, so to speak. The thing is i don't know what the hell to write inside the card or if i should write at all. Im going to be doing over 100 of the invites and i don't fancy writing inside all of them. What do you suggest? I was thinking of typing the wording (ineed ideas on what to write too) in fancy font on computer then copying them onto card and sticking them inside the card! What do you think? Or have you any ideas/ I don't fancy printing straight onto card as im scared of messing it up no matter how much practice i have. Im trying to do everything myself as we are on tigh tigh budget (uk( and want to contribute as much as i can. Thanks alot (very stressed bride to be) I can spell thanks!!! Just i have had a operation in my eye and i find it diffucult to see the letters. Thanks for been so rude. Evil Bitch!!!!

Wedding cake help... in my family, it is a tradition that started by my mothers mother.? My mothers mother made my mothers wedding cake, it was sooo beautiful!. My mother made my wedding cake just like hers. Now my son is getting married and my future daughter in law wants the tradition to continue, as I only have all boy's. So now I have to make thier cake excactly like that. I wanted to cheat and take the picture to the bakery for them to do it. But, it didnt fly by with the family. It's not the same. Well... I just dont seem to have time to make it or where to start. I wanted to make it the night before the wedding, but... I have the hall to decorate and the rehersal at the church then dinner. On Sat. the day of the wedding, which is at 2:00 pm, I have a million last min. things to do. Does anyone know when its ok to make the cake it's self and when to frost it and decorate it and how to transport it without it falling. I am at a lost. By the way... I did check on the cost to have an exact cake made. $975.00......YIKES! I would love not to do all those things the day before the weding, I just feel everything is on me. The bride to be's mother isnt so interested in planning her daughters wedding, she basically said she doesnt do weddings. So her daughter needs my help with how things need to look with the decorating, I'm a pro with that. My daughter in law wants everything just perfect for my son when he returns home. (he's in the army)

How can I secure gum paste roses pierced through a styrofoam ball? I am decorating a wedding cake. The only decor would be three styrofoam balls filled with gum paste roses suspended from the base of the top cake in a sculptured base. I do not want the flowers from the bottom of the balls to be falling off.

did you or do you plan on......? eat/eating the top layer of your wedding cake on your 1 year anniversary? our 1 year is comming up on april 1. just 3 weeks away!! we have saved ours. we used one of thoes freezer sealers that suck all the air out before you freeze something, so im hoping it wont be freezer burned. anyway, just wondering to thoes who did save their top layer, did you eat it? was it good or did it taste like cardboard? the lady, that made our cake offered to make us a new one for our anniversary, but since i hate her and she almost made our cake fall over at the wedding(long story), i will not be using her services. we are going out of town for our anniversary, and dont think we need to bring the whole entire layer. we were thinking about cutting it in half. has anyone done this? if so, how did it work out? thanks in advance :o) i think tradition is great, and so eating the top layer to me is not grose. and its not like im eating frozen eggs as some people put it. when you make a cake, you bake it. duh! sorry but i just thought thoes answers about the frozen egg thing were weird. its not like i froze a dozen eggs and im eating them, now that is grose.

New wedding info..? Ok, so we are still getting married in April 2008. With the dress I fell in love with, as well as the bridesmaids, I know want a black and white wedding with royal/cobalt blue accents. I need pictures/ideas for everything now.....decorations for church, reception , flowers....etc. All help will be appreciated (as long as it's not sarcastic.) I know to not over do it with the black, and I wont. I just want something to match my dress. Here are the links.... http://www.venusbridal.com/cgi-bin/description.asp?dress=K8734&dressline=AngelTradition That's my dress. http://www.barijay.com/style.php?PHPSESSID=88576dd02b7b49559dc5cc818a2a0f1e&coll=barijay&showid=50&PHPSESSID=88576dd02b7b49559dc5cc818a2a0f1e That's my bridesmaids, only trimmed in blue not pink. Also have a picture of an IDEA of the wedding cake, just ask and I'll email it. Thanks all. Ok, I can't put the picture of the cake on here b/c a friend emailed me this cake picture so it doesn't have a link. You have to give me your email address to get it. Sorry.

Cakes and dogs? A cake recipe can be easy to follow-but what happens when you add a furry canine into the recipe? This is what Happened. I was helping my friend make a wedding cake for my aunt.We looked at the recipe and my little brother put ''canine'' as an ingredient.All of a sudden , i hear giggling and my aunt's furry poodle comes in and plays around in the mixing. Then it runs away and jumps on to my aunt's hands while she is in her wedding dress.The little furball left my aunt a mess.My uncle walks into the dropped mixing on the floor and falls right over it all-leaving him a mess as well.And yes-They got married in a tasty and messy outfit-both of them! So what do u think of that story?

I need an idea for a story: What would slowly seperate an engaged, relatively happy couple before the wedding? The Story: A couple decides to plan their own wedding, meaning they both have to be in charge of many different aspects of their wedding so the groom sets out to find a wedding cake designer. He manages to get ahold of the town's most acclaimed baker, it's a small town, so it wasn't too hard to do. He finds out the baker is actually an old friend of his who once had feelings for him but seems to be over him, infact, she seems to have forgotten him completely. shortly after consulting her about her prices and what she can offer he leaves, and then returns the next day for an appointment with his wife-to-be. They make their decision which happens to be expensive and time-consuming. She gets to work and a few days later the couple has some problem (I need ideas for said problem) The Groom goes back to the bakery finding his buddies either don't understand, or don't care. He coaxes the baker into remembering him and the two engage in conversation. They end up falling in love etc..

would this work? Or would it fall apart? Im thinking of wedding cake ideas, and one of the ones I was thinking of was to use an upside down wine glass(es) filled with flowers instead of the "tier/pillar/column" things. But if this was done, would the cake sink? If it would, how could I make it work so it wouldn't?

How To Have Wedding Reception? Help!! I am getting married Sep. 1 and have NO clue on how to plan a wedding. I am pretty much doing this alone, so no help at all. What order do things fall into? Like cake, dancing, meal's. How long should these things be spaced apart? Any other things I need to know please add Thanks for the help!

If you could change anything about your wedding, what would it be? My husband and I would have done what we wanted to do in the first place and would have gone Guam where my husband was stationed and gotten married there just the two of us instead of having a big church wedding back here in the States to "appease the family". It turned out awful, everything went wrong from my hair being horrid, to my make up being a rushed 5 minute bathroom job to my dress almost falling off to the floral shop not delivering the flowers and having no wedding flowers, to the pastor accidentally skipping part of the service and making the whole ceremony a total of 12 minutes from start to finish (best man timed it), to mics not working, to our original wedding site getting snowed out (in May!) three days before the wedding and having to move the wedding to a too small church (& having to notify all 300 plus guests of the change) to our cake nearly falling over, , and we weren't able to go on a honeymoon either.... what would you have changed about your wedding?

What's the funniest/most dreadful but entertaining experience you've had at someone's wedding? As a bartender, I've attended hundreds of weddings. My favourite was held on a VERY hot day, and the multi-level cake began to lean, and lean a little more, and a little more, and then the top fell off. There was a sugar ornament of a bride and groom on top, and the groom's head broke off! We spent twenty minutes trying to find it!

How can I make a cake look like its old and rotting but still taste good? (Great Expectations wedding cake.)? I need to make a cake for school. Our model is supposed to by Miss Havisham's wedding cake that she left rotting for 20 years. It is supposed to look old and infested with bugs.... falling apart, molding, etc. Does anyone have any suggestions to making the cake look gross while it still being tasty? Some of the examples i was given were gummy worms coming out of it and things like that, but does anyone have any other unique ideas? (or just post any ideas that you have!) Thanks!!

does anyone know of any good ideas for cake toppers? I am getting married in septemeber so we are haveing a fall wedding. I do not want a regular cake topper..We have thought about doing fall leaves (red,orange and yellow) but we just cant decide..does anyone have any good idea for cake toppers that would go along with the fall theme?

unique wedding ideas!!!!? i really want my wedding to be in the late summer early fall and have reds, oranges, and maybe browns as my colours!! Plz help, i want some cool ideas to have at my wedding from decorations to cake toppers!!!

How can I tell my mom nicely not to inter fear with my wedding plans? I am an asian womon in my 30's & my mom is still controlling me. In my culture we have arranged marriages. For the past 10 years my mom has tried to force me to marry men whom I hardly even knew. Some had really bad habbits & my mom said that they would change after I marry them. One guy freaked out because she even tried to fix my wedding date & where & when I should marry him even before met the guy. I was so disapointed with everything & gave up on finding a man. But out of the blue I met a wonderful man on my own & fell in love. Now we are engaged to be married & mom still is trying to interfear in our wedding plans. She even told me who should be my briedsmaid, what color of flower I should have in my cake, who should be my witness, how many should attend my wedding. My fiance & I are paying for our own wedding & planning it too. She got pretty upset with me last week about my wedding. Now we are ok. She wants a ring bearer when we said the best man will hand out the ring.

Wedding favor boxes...? Hi all! I was hoping to get some ideas from all you brides-to-be.... for our wedding favors I want to give small 2 tiered cakes, one for each guest. My problem is, I cant find any little boxes to put them in. I want to put them in something like this: http://www.keepsakefavors.com/favors/product.php?productid=243&cat=57&page=1 but, I'm thinking that maybe when you take the lid off, the sides would fall down to the table, so the cake won't get ruined when the person tries to get it out of the box. My question is...has anyone come across any little favor boxes like that, or maybe give me a different idea for the presentation of my favor? All ideas welcome... Thanks!!

Possible change of plans...what kind of dress to wear for a winter wedding? Okay, it is quite possible that my fiance had hoped for a July wedding date and planned accordingly, but knew all along that that might not be possible. My son and I are moving to be with him regardless, but my fiance and I might not be married until this fall or even December. My wedding-in-the-park tea-length dress is now inappropriate, and I've found another that I absolutely love. It is actually a quinceanera gown, but again, I love it. http://www.thebridalshop.com/bonny_quinceanera/5619.htm My questions are: Is the halter okay for the middle of winter? The wedding will be inside (it might even be a courthouse wedding, but I'm dressing up gosh-darn-it! ;-) ). I think the heavy lace is typical of quinceanera dresses. There is actually a cake pattern at my supermarket bakery called "the Hispanic pattern" that looks a lot like my dress! Will people be wondering why I am wearing a quinceanera dress, or will they just accept it as a pretty dress that I like? Sorry...mangled that first sentence! We'd hoped for a July wedding, but it's very possible (maybe probable) that we have to have it later. I'm not a Latina...that's why I wanted to check how people would see the dress, lol. And I've wondered the same thing about the models! (I'm actually much older than either...36, getting married for the second time. That's why I wanted some color - to just have fun with it this time!) I definitely DO want to keep the color. And I'll be giving thumbs up to anyone who isn't rude/mean, whatever the opinions are...'cause I need the opinions! :-) I haven't given any thumbs down, even to those saying the dress is too young. I should say, though, that I'm asking about halters and if the dress will immediately be spotted as a quinceanera dress. I'm not asking for opinions on the style; as I've said, I love the style. I know my fiance will love it, too. And we're definitely going for a fun, celebratory vibe.

Some of Your Wedding Details...? Hi all, I am always curious and excited to learn about other's weddings--I guess primarily for distant-future planning & dreaming lol. Anyway, my questions (for soon-to-be brides and wives) are... -What season did/will your wedding take place? (summer, spring, fall, winter) -Describe your dress (poofy, a-line, strapless, sleeved, gloves/no gloves etc.): -What were/are your wedding colors? -Outdoor, Civil, or Church wedding? -How many bridesmaids/groomsmen did/will you have? -Approximate # of guests? -Wives: what were your thoughts or what was running through your mind right before you walked down the aisle (if applicable)? -Did you (or do you think you will) cry/tear-up during your wedding ceremony? -What song did/will you and your newly-wedded husband dance to at your reception for your 1st dance? -The cake: how many tiers & what flavor(s)? -Did/will you have a honeymoon? If so, where? Thanks in advance to all who answer! =)

way's to incorporate my small kids into our wedding?? Hi! I am getting married this coming fall, and we already have two small children, ages 21 months, and 4 years, both boys. we are looking for idea's you may have, to incorporate our boys into the wedding, as much as possible.. some of the ideas we have already, are * a family cake topper * they are both ring bearers * and we are doing a unity sand ceremony, instead of candle (safer) and they will both have their own sand to put in also. We really want to buy a special keepsake memory thing for them, but we don't know what to get them, we want it to be age appropriate, so they could wear or use it at the wedding, as well as keep the keepsake forever. Any other idea's would be greatly appreciated! thank you:) that's so funny #2! my older son IS pulling my younger son down the isle, in a wagon, and throwing leaves instead of petals.

Would you forgive a relative who ruined your wedding?? My aunt took over the planning of my wedding that was done in 27 days!She ruined it!The day of wedding she took me to a salon that ruined my hair,it was falling and crooked!Then she left me and the groom to setup reception and ceremony area while she went home to get ready!It started 1 1/2 hrs late due to dj not showing up!When he did he unplugged our altar lights and ceremony music as my dad was walking me down the aisle!The pastor said the wrong names during our rememberence ceremony,and forgot our names!then when we cut the cake I find out noone videotaped anything!I almost stabbed her with cake cutter but burst into tears in front of all the guests!Then I find out she never reserved a place for my dad to stay(hes from arizona),so we had to drive him back home to arizona from las vegas nv after our reception was over!But before we did that all my family left including my aunt,and i had to clean up everything!Oh and she totally copied our wedding in every way for her sons wedding! Ok let me clarify something, me and my husband were involved in planning every detail, everything was fine Until the actual day of the wedding. thats when it fell apart. Oh i forgot the pastor is my uncle by the way......

a wedding for under a $1,000? We would like to get married this fall, we have a very limited budget. I would like to plan our wedding for $1,000 or less. I have been trying to do research on thrifty weddings but i seem to be finding the same suggestions over and over and am really looking for more detailed abd unique ideas. my best friend is making my dress wich will save us a bundle, we and our friends wil be doing most if not all of the cooking and the cake. I will be making the invites with nice stationary and computer programs. We want a small wedding, personal to our close friends and family. we want kind of a hippi wedding on the beach, something romantic and comfortable. The largest cost i believe will be the photographer and the rings and any permits we need. I want atleast a simi professional photographer although i plan on putting the album together myself. I was thinking bubbles or flower pettles in lou of bird seed. any idea for a low cost special honeymoon would also b great! thanks!

Help with wedding? im confused? So my boyfriend and i decided to get married. I have no clue where to start. We want an outside wedding so were thinking sometime this summer. I want my best friend to be my maid of honor but she moved to another state a while back so dont know if she can come donw. i would fell like i betrayed her if someone else is a maid of honor. how many maidren can you have? I picked a dress i would like them to wear, do they all have to wear the same one? Where would i get a priest im not much of a church person? how much would that be. I really dont want to hire a wedding planner because of the cost. Should i start planning now for my wedding if im going ot have it this summer? Cake? Music? Flowers? Please Can someone help me?

What do u think about this cake???? my wedding will be brown and blue like this cake its the very first one on this page http://budgetdreamweddings.com/weddingplanning/category/theme-weddings/fall-theme-wedding/ I am trying to keep it like this but it will have to have more cake we are feeding over 500 people what do u guys think about this cake and where are more cakes that i can look at online that are neat like this one??? yes why couldn't I have a Tiffany cake???

Mmmmm....Dessert.? I am getting married this October and my fiance and I have really made and effort to put our personal stamp on the day. We both looooove sweets so for the reception we are having a candy buffet, cookie table, and instead of traditional wedding cake, our favorite bakery is making their famous burnt almond torte into a wedding cake for us. We are so excited! To top it off on a fall evening, we are serving hot caramel apple cider with the cake. Now I thought this was great, but both my mother and his mother think that people are not going to like this because the cake is smothered in almonds and not everyone likes apple cider. I feel like this is our special day and if they don't like it, we have plenty of other sweets on the candy buffet and cookie table. Do agree and think the majority of people will not enjoy this? I thought it was fantastic... Of course we will also be serving soft drinks, coffee and alcohol

OH DID you know that.......(((useless fact)))? Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. The dollar symbol ($) is a U combined with an S (U.S.) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. The Statue of Liberty's tablet is two feet thick. The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is 'Live Free or Die'. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord. The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients which floated on the top of the container. The white part of your fingernail is called the lunula. Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra to get cabin's on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia, and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe The top layer of a wedding cake, known as the groom's cake, traditionally is a fruit cake. That way it will save until the first anniversery. The only city whose name can be spelled completely with vowels is Aiea, Hawaii, located approximately twelve miles west of Honolulu. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat", which means "the king is dead". When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield it's first consumable fruit. The common goldfish is the only animal that can see both infra-red and ultra-violet light. Linn's Stamp News is the world's largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors. Tennessee is bordered by more states than any other. The eight states are Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and Virginia. There are only three animals with blue tongues, the Black Bear, the Chow Chow dog and the blue-tongued lizard. There are six five words in the English language with the letter combination "uu." Muumuu, vacuum, continuum, duumvirate and duumvir, residuum. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time. Hamsters love to eat crickets. The only "real" food that U.S. Astronauts are allowed to take into space is pecan nuts. The word "queueing" is the only English word with five consecutive vowels. The difference between male and female blue crabs is the design located on their apron (belly.) The male blue crab has the Washington Monument while the female apron is shaped like the U.S. Capitol. The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself." No word in the English language rhymes with month. Astronauts in the Space Shuttle are weightless not because there is no gravity in space, but because they are in free fall around the Earth. Only two people signed the Decleration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on Augest 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 year later. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 105.6 miles per hour. If you were born in Los Alamos, New Mexico during the Manhattan project (where they made the atomic bomb), your birthplace was listed as a post office box in Albequerque. Only 1/3 of the people that can twitch their ears can twitch only one at a time. The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean In case you ever find yourself piloting a dogsled, shout "Jee!" to make the dogs turn left and "Ha!" to go right. The oldest word in the English language is "town" The second longest word in the English language is "antidisestablishmenterianism"... A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. The only city in the United States to celebrate Halloween on the October 30 instead of October 31 is Carson City, Nevada. October 31 is Nevada Day and is celebrated with a large stret party. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. No words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple. A peanut is not a nut; it is a legume. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open Human birth control pills work on gorillas. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head. An elephant can be pregnant for up to two years. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart. The youngest letters in the English language are "j," "v" and "w." The Australian $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 notes are made out of plastic. Every two thousand frowns creates one wrinkle. A whale's penis is called adork. Coca-Cola was originally green. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. The youngest pope was 11 years old. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aoze8bqxXhZfFjQlWy4ZiM7sy6IX?qid=20070802165319AArZGpQ

Short Romance & Marriage Jokes 2? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my Mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I was married 3 times," explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame," said his friend. "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "Have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob's greatest achievement was his brood of six children. In fact, he was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six", despite her continual objections. One night at a cocktail party, Bob decided it was time to go home and shouted across the room, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His irritated wife hollered back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ad seen in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you???" The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, "What's this for?" "This is for your headache," he says. She says, "But I don't have a headache." He smiles and says, "Gotcha!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe?" asked Charlie. Joe replied, "That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into a dog; a mongrel pup develops into a cur. Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and moved into the garage. Although he couple seldom spoke, he continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car, while she cooked the meals, vacuumed and did the laundry. Months later, Roger met his friend Don for drinks. "Things don't seem to be working out any better," Don remarked. "Why don't you just move out?" "Well, if you really want to know the truth," Roger explained, "she makes such a damn good neighbor." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." ---------------------------------------- A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. ------------------------------------------ First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet, "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife: "In the pool." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overheard: "Has your husband lived up to all the things he said before you were married?" "No, He's only lived up to one of them." "Which one was that?" "He said he wasn't good enough for me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can hold down a full time job, prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and said, "I don't freaking think so!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" He promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple comes upon a wishing well. The wife leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The husband decides to make a wish, too. But he leans over too much, falls into the well and drowns. Stunned, the wife smiles broadly and exclaims, "It really works!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do laundry right now, you'll have no clothes to wear." What a Man hears: blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells her, "Be prepared for widowhood. Your husband will soon die a violent death." The lady asked, " Will I be acquitted?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four." Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the state lottery!" Martha replies, "Should I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man says, "I don't care. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While at the fairgrounds, a woman wanted to take a ride on the Ferris wheel before heading home. Her husband waited while she took a spin. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the woman was thrown out. She landed in a heap at her husband's feet. He gasped and bent down. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are playing golf when a funeral procession passes by on the street next to the green. One of the men takes off his hat and holds it over his heart. When the procession has passed, the other man says, "That was a nice gesture." "Well," the first guy says, "After twenty years of marriage, it was the least I could do for her." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they except that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants and see if you can get disability!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two women were talking, when one said to the other: "Do you ever talk to your husband when you're making love?" "Yeah," replied the second, "But only when he telephones!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath, and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in a six o'clock in the morning!" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "But I don't know her well enough." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

¿♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥?سايت دينى و ابعد عنا بتطرفك و جهلك linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. 'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.' A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.' 2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.' Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!' 3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?' 'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.' 4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. 5) Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in. Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.' Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!' A Good Joke about a husband. A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma' am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.' The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't . He just walked in the door.' Classic short and sweet joke Where's the English Channel? I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up. Sherlock Holmes - Elementary Dear Watson Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. 'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.' Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What does that tell you?' Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you? Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.' Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.' ¤ Two Good Jokes that have stood the test of time The American and the Welsh farmers An American farmer was on holiday in Wales. He could not resist exploring the hill farms north of Aberystwyth. At lunch time he dropped into a pub and fell into easy conversation with a Welsh farmer. 'How big is your spread?' , asked the American. 'Well look you, it's about 20 acres he said' . Only 20 acres the American responded, back in Texas I can get up at sunrise, saddle my horse and ride all day, when I return at supper time, I'll be lucky to cover half my farm'. ' Dew dew' , said the Welshman, 'I once had horse like that, but sent him to the knackers yard.' Windy? Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' No, 'the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' The third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.' This will rot more than your teeth The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire. 'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives. Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.' One-liners - Deliberately Chosen to Give Variety and Surprise Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead War Dims Hope for Peace. (Newspaper headline) If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.' I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already. Include your children when baking your cookies. (Newspaper leader) 'I hate music, especially when it's played.' - Jimmy Durante Difficult Landing The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - ' Thanks for flying XYZ airline' . An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma' am, 'said the pilot, 'What is it' , the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?' Out of the mouths of babes (So often the source of a good joke) A nursery school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to little Sarah who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. Sarah replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Sarah replied, 'They will in a minute' P.S. Please write to Will and Guy if you have any good jokes

What was the name of this movie? An old lady lived in this old mansion with her granddaughter. I think the old lady was left at the alter years ago and the wedding cake and everthing was left just as it was. She has a boy come over to the mansion to play with her young grand daughter. This goes on until they both grow up. The old lady uses her granddaughter to get the boy to fall in love with her and then breaks his heart just as hers was broken so many years ago. I'm think this movie was made in the 50's or so. Thanks everybody! That was bugging me for sometime. Great Exectations (1946) Starred Jean Simmons and John Mills.